17 December, 2008


I remember stages of my life not so much by its events or how old I was, but by how I remember feeling about things. This is probably true of a lot of people.

When I look back at past years, I don't usually think "Oh that's the year my sister was married," or, "that's the year I started high school." It's more "that's when I was really scared all the time," or "that's when I was an excited (!!!) pre-pubescent teen."

Some stages, like the ones I've just mentioned, I can remember with clarity. Others not so much.

I remember being a child; I was mostly happy, off in my own little world, and very shy. I also remember being scared of a lot of things.

I remember being in primary school; I was still mostly happy, I thought I was right most of the time. I was still very shy, and still scared of things.

I remember early high school; I was a super excited 13 year old girl. Most sentences were followed with too many exclamation marks. I still thought I was right all the time; often found it hard to get off my high horse and admit when I'd been wrong. It was around this time, when one night I was 'scared' by I-can't-remember-what, and was sick of it, that I read my bible and prayed until it stopped. I remember always wanting to help people, always putting them first.

I remember mid high school; I started to get over my excitement and enthusiasm. I had a massive creative burst; I was writing and drawing and loving it. The being scared had not come back since it stopped. But my creative and passionate burst was just that; a burst. After that it was a deserted, ugly rut. I remember being lonely, and apathetic. I remember feeling 'out of it' in social situations, I remember hating that, hating my self consciousness and hating the fact that I didn't want to help people any more. I felt so selfish. So I covered all of that up. I remember wearing a mask each and every day. And always, though I didn't want to, putting other people first (that of course was followed by guilt and shame) and pretending I was fine and happy until I was just so tired that I couldn't do it any longer.

And this is where I am today; this is a stage of depression, anxiety, cynicism, sarcasm, and fear. It is worse that being in a rut, worse than being in 'the desert'. I can feel the mask wearing away; it is so painful. I cannot bear it. I am sick of feeling out of place and 'not-together', I am sick of feeling like everyone is on some different level, or page to me, I am sick of feeling like no one feels about me the way I feel about them. I am sick of not being able to do things, and not being able to concentrate because I just can't seem to organise my mind. The smallest of things can bring me down in an instant and overwhelm me.
I wonder if the previous stages led to this place... I wonder if focusing on how I was 'stuck' forced me into this horrible place, or if it's the other way around, and I focused on it because I am in this horrible place.

It's funny, at the start of this year, I had 'visions of grandeur' of what it would be like, of what positive and impacting decisions I would make.

Not one of those expectations has been realised. Not even one.
I have no idea what I am doing. Except.
I am crying.

10 December, 2008

Emily's How To: Clean Your Room

Yes, stop, I know, I know, I am the last person who should be telling anyone how to clean their room, but if you are so neat that you never really have to clean your room, then can you really know how to clean the entire room?
I say no. You need experience in room cleaning first. But if you are tidy, maybe you could give us all some nice tips on how to be neat in the first place, and how not to let your room become the disaster that it (likely) is.

If you are one of those disorganised, messy individuals much like myself (I know you're out there) and just can not keep your room clean, but would really like to have a big clean out once in a while, then this is for you.

This is not "How To Keep Your Room Clean and Tidy."
This is: "How To Clean Your Crash Site Of A Room."

No judgement here, kiddies.


1. You need to tackle the mess small bits at a time to avoid that overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
Do you know when you get that great inspiration to clean your room? "This is the day," you think, "I'm going to clean it! It will be amazing!"
Alas, your visions of grandeur are shattered the moment you see the mountain of inoperable mess. Grudgingly, you strive on, only to be distracted by something you deem 'more important', for example, updating your Facebook status, or deciding that maybe your trophies need polishing.
Later, you feel like a guilty failure; you broke your promise to yourself, plus you are a messy slob.
But, not to worry, here are three ways to combat this 'mass mess' syndrome:

-Scoop everything on the floor into one big pile
This helps to keep the mess in one spot, giving you room to clean, helping the room look a little neater, and also stops the mess from looking so spread out and large.

-Clean for 5/10/15/30/Whatever minutes a day*
Instead of giving yourself the near-impossible task of cleaning the entire mess, clean for, say, five or ten minutes in the morning or before bed. Clean for longer if you want to. This is a much more achievable goal; over time your room will become steadily cleaner, and because you can meet your goals, you end up with a sense of accomplishment rather than guilt.

-Make a list of things to clean (My favourite)
First, my list just today looked like this:
Paper Rubbish
Make up & Jewellery
Bowls, Cups, etc...
Top-Half Clothes
Plastic Rubbish
Bottom-Half Clothes

Okay, so do you get the point? Make a list of things to clean, you can make the categories anything you like.
Much like the 5 or 10 minute rule, clean small amounts and work your way down the list, e.g. clean up everything that is green. This should only take about 5 minutes (unless you really like green) then when you are done, you can either go and do something else or move on to the next item on the list.
TIP: Contrary to my list, it would be beneficial to clean up clothes first, that way you can have your washing on and clean the rest of your room while you wait.

TIP: After cleaning bits of your room, it might help you to move everything into a pile again, to keep your room tidy(ish) until your next session.

2. You need places to put things.
Okay, it's not for the want of more storage that all of my stuff ends up on the floor, it's because I'm lazy.
Nevertheless, unless you have places to store and organise all of your things, your room is not going to be clean.
Here are some ways to be all 'yay storage!':

-Go to Ikea
Just go there. Freakin' inspiring. If you're on a no spending diet, don't take your wallet because you will buy things.

-Get some boxes, drawers, and the like. Get nice shallow boxes to store things under your bed, which also helps stop the junk and dust that accumulates there. You can get plenty of cheap but handy storage options from The Reject Shop and those Asian stores that sell EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE.

-Clean your desks/tables/surfaces/draw

ers/under the bed first. If this is too daunting, just sweep all the junk from them onto the floor until you can clean it later. Dodgy? Meh.
This way you have all your storage areas ready for placing all the junk you're going to clean off your floor.

3. You need rubbish bags.
Undoubtedly, there will be a CRAPLOAD of junk and rubbish in your room that you will want to chuck out. Sometimes I use plastic bags I find on the floor while cleaning, sometimes I use actual garbage bags (and I fill them, too. Atrocious.)
To do this:

-Get some freakin' bags.
Put the rubbish in.
Put it in the bin.

4. Finishing Touches.
-Vacuum: Clean carpet makes it look superclean.
-Dust: Dusting seems a bit cliche... but seriously, dust makes you cough and wheeze and stuff, get rid of it.
-Actually CLEAN: Wipe the windows or whatever, your desk or table if you have one, or any other surface that is dirty. Once again, bad for the lungs, and if left dirty will likely grow mould, which is worse for the lungs.
-Organise things nicely: Photos on your bedside table, things neat on your desk, awww, it's picture perfect! You'd better take a photo, because if you're anything like me, it's not going to be clean for long.

Well, that's pretty much it.
Just remember to take it a bit at a time so that you can avoid guilt and feeling overwhelmed. Reward yourself after you have finished your day's cleaning goal. Get your storage on. And make it look all puuurty!

Try to keep it clean, obviously, but also try not to feel like a failure if it becomes messy again. You're not a bad person, you're just not really tidy, and we need a balance of the tidies and untidies in the world, k?
So if (and when) it looks as if is has been ransacked, just clean it again!

I'll leave you with something my (awesome) grandma says about my room when it's messy:
"Oh, look at your room! It's got that lived-in look!"
Then she laughs lots and is happy.
Thanks, Mama.


*This 5/10 minute plan is a little common sense, but more something my sister Holly introduced me to by giving it a name/face.

Sometimes the mess is so bad that you uncover small children who have been lost in your room.

03 December, 2008


I promise I'll clean it one day...

24 October, 2008

I remember, in year seven, saying to my friends,

"You know, one day we'll be in year twelve, and we'll all be like 'we're in year twelve and this is our last year of school!'"

And here we are.
And it's been said.
Countless numbers of times.

My 13 years of schooling is finally coming to its end.
And I am not happy,
or sad,
or excited,
or scared.

Nothing feels weird or different.

15 October, 2008


Well, BC's post alerted me to the fact that it is Blog Action Day (B.A.D.? You would think that they might choose a more appropriate name and, in turn, get a more appropriate acronym. Although, maybe this acronym inspires humour, and that's a good thing!)

So, the B.A.D. 'theme', if you will, is Poverty.
Poverty is... bad.

I have never experienced poverty. I have never been to a third world country, never seen the 'slums' of my own country either, really, and I have never, myself, been in a state of poverty.
There is always, of course, what the media show and tell us about poverty, but that is still not really experiencing it.

Duh. Yes, Emily, everyone knows that.

I suppose because I haven't experienced poverty, I am apathetic towards the topic.
Yes, I know poverty is bad. Yes, I know people die every day from preventable causes. Yes, I know people live in houses smaller than my bedroom. Yes, I know there are people who are my age and have to drop out of school to work and support their family. Yes, I know.

But somehow for me, and for millions of other people I suppose, just knowing all of that isn't always enough.
People are still selfish, including me. People still complain about things that don't matter...

Even though I feel apathetic towards poverty, I don't ignore it. I donate to charities, I join in with fund-raisers, it gives me a good feeling. But I don't really get passionate about it. Then again, it feels like a long time since I've been passionate about anything.

There are lots of 'end poverty' movements. Claiming that we can end poverty in our life time.
I think I believe that. I think. I mean, in theory it's possible, in theory we could eradicate poverty within a week. A day, even.

But will it ever happen?

Even if we do 'eradicate' poverty, there will be a new form of poverty. Societies will always be divided into status and class, and while all people may have basic human rights, a place to live, people to love, and food on the table, there will still be people with more money. There will still be people with less money.
So, in a way, we can end poverty, and in a way, we can't.

Gosh, I'm so defeatist.

Although, a positive way of looking at poverty through this 'defeatist' view would be to look at a story I've heard a few times about a boy walking on the beach...

There is a man walking along the beach after a storm. The storm has washed thousands of starfish onto the sand, and they are all lying in the sun, drying out and dying. The man sees a boy up ahead who is throwing the starfish back into the now calm water.

How can he ever hope to save all these star fish?

The man walks closer to the boy, who is still diligently picking up and throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

"Hey kid, what are you doing?"

"I'm saving the starfish."

The man does not want to let the boy down, but how on Earth can the boy save all the starfish? They are drying out much too quickly.

"But kid, how can you ever hope to make a difference? There are thousands of them, they're all going to dry out before you get to them."

The boy did not stop, or hesitate. He did not give up and go home. He just picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the sea before speaking to the man.

"It made a difference for that one."

He threw in another starfish.

"Made a difference for that one"

Another starfish, another.

"Made a difference for that one, and that one."


There are probably countless versions of this story, and I don't know if it's true or not, but it's a good allegory for poverty.

Maybe we can't change the world. Maybe we can't eradicate poverty forever, or ever.
But why should that be reason to give up, just because we can't change the whole world?

We can make a difference for one person. And another person. And another person.

Why should fear of failure or minimalism stop us?

This post is part of Blog Action Day 08 - Poverty

I've been going to 'Pentecostal' churches for pretty much my whole life.
One corrupt and super dodgy. The other awesome, so far.
I've visited plenty of other churches.

When I was younger I didn't really know about different 'types' of churches, and I just thought that non-Pentecostal churches weren't as passionate, weren't as 'in' to Christianity as we were.

I certainly don't think this now.

But I'm sorry,
for my naivety.

30 September, 2008

Such Love...

I don't really have anything to blog about... I just felt like blogging.
It's been ages since I've written anything blog-worthy...

A lot has happened since my last 'real' blog post, here are some of those happenings in list-form:

-I live with my sister Holly now! It's exciting and challenging and different. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it.
It's good because I am learning and growing, bad because it's inconvenient travel-wise and because it's hard to break old lifestyle habits.

-I turned sweet (and sour?) 18! A fact I am (usually) proud of.

-I have done many barely mentionable things like making a giant cuddly tea bag, going to the show, being awesome, being not-so-awesome, having a school formal, various birthdays & such...

-I have a new phone number but I don't know what it is... so don't ring/message me.

-I have a car! (No license yet) It's an old, boxy Corolla, metallic/olive green. I have named it Jpeg, on account of it's square nature.

-I submitted all my VTAC/Uni stuff... how exciting.

There endeth the list.

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the blog really, it's just a song I have stuck in my head.

Such love
Such love
Such love is this for me...

This is Jesus
In his glory
King of Heaven
Dying for me
It is finished
He has done it
Death is beaten
Heaven beckons me

Well, I suppose now that the title does relate to the blog.

I've been thinking
a lot lately, that I wish Vetamorphus went for two years...
I miss my group and I miss the weekly meetings. I don't have any substitute for those. Not even a church small group because everything's all changing at the moment and the only small group I'm involved in is one I'll be leading.
Which doesn't mean I can't learn and grow still, but it's different...

Beach mission stuff is finally getting started. I'm on the Rosebud/Section 12 team this year which is different, I'm going to miss McCrae like all heck, I've spent nearly half of my summers there.

Sigh. Yawn.

05 September, 2008

01 September, 2008


Dear world:
I'm very sorry to have neglected you for so long. I've been busy, see, and also the internet around here has been quite fickle lately.

I'm also sorry that after a long absence, all I'm giving you is YouTube videos, but seriously, they are grouse.

Although they are not relatively new, so you may have seen some, if not all of them before.

Beached Whale

I always offer my chips to people after watching this.

Darth Vader Being a Smartass

First time I saw this, very nearly 'rofl'ed.

Trent From Punchy

Apparently this kid is fo' shizzle.

Keyboard Kid

Priceless. Gets in your head for days.

Yours sincerely,
Emily, VCE. (Apparently when you finish VCE, you can put those letters on the end of your name... I haven't finished yet, but I sometimes like to pretend I'm quasi-professional.)

04 June, 2008

Black and Gold - Sam Sparro

This song is mad.
I love it.
You should get into it.
It's on the radio.
I love the lyrics.
The music is also cool.

Black and Gold - Sam Sparro

If the fish swam out of the ocean
And grew legs and they started walking
And the apes climbed down from the trees
And grew tall and they started talking

And the stars fell out of the sky
And my tears rolled into the ocean
Now I'm looking for a reason why
You even set my world into motion

'Cause if You're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
That it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if You're not really here
Then I don't want to be either
I wanna be next to You
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

I look up into the night sky
I see a thousand eyes staring back
And all around these golden beacons
I see nothing but black

I feel the weight of something beyond them
I don't see what I can feel
If vision is the only validation
Then most of my life isn't real

'Cause if You're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
That it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if You're not really here
Then I don't want to be either
I wanna be next to You
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

01 June, 2008

To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens

Sufjan Stevens is probably my all time favourite musician.
I love the music and I love the lyrics.

The way he writes is amazing.

A lot of his songs centre around his Christian beliefs, but he does it in such a way that it's not 'Schmistian' (Christian) music. I love it.
Especially this song:

To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
I'd swim across Lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your ghost
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

I've never known a man who loved me


29 May, 2008


Because the countdown/up/whatever thing that arrived last time I posted a blog on this topic has gone bonkers, I will do the old fashioned typing thing:


A link: http://fun-bag.blogspot.com/
That is all.

It's now been 50 minutes.

28 April, 2008

While I procrastinate.

"Australian-Asian" takes a long time to say, but you can't shorten it to "Australasian" because Australasia is already a thing.

And "Ausian" is too strange a word for people to pronounce universally.

15 April, 2008

100 Things About eM

On Ben Chong's orders (I seem to do a bit of blogging on his orders... Bossy) here is a blogitty blog of 100 things about me, Emily.

1. I was born on the 25th of July, 1990. I was alive (in the womb) for about three months of the eighties, so now I can claim that I was alive in the eighties!

2. My name is Emily Kate Wood. I've posted a blog before about what my name means, and how I don't really adore the meaning/s of it, but here's a refresher:
Rival, Emulating, Striving, Industrious.
(Form of Catherine): Pure.
Wood: ...tree? Probably and ancestor of mine worked with wood.
My middle name, 'Kate', was after our convict ancestor Catherine Kearney. We went to Tasmania to celebrate the 200 year anniversary of her landing (as a convict) in Australia. Woo.

3. I am the youngest of four children. I think I've had a lot of independence to build because of this; I never had to look after a younger sibling, I always had people looking after me.

4. I am an aunty five times. To Eliza, Jesse, Zachariah, Asher, and Baby X. I love being an aunty, even though I do get tired of just 'playing' non-stop.

5. I am generally an arty sort of person. I love to draw and paint. I like to think I'm fairly good at it, but I know I'm not fantastic, because these last few years I've hardly practised at all.

6. I am a Christian. I grew up in a Christian home, which I'm sure contributed a lot to it, but I'm definitely running on my own faith now, rather than my parents'. I feel like I should write more. But there's not much more to it, really. I love God, he loves me, I try to live like Jesus did.

7. My parents split up at the end of 2005. I don't really talk about this much, and it's not something I'd generally post on the World Wide Web, but it's such a large part of my life right now that I don't think I can write a list of 100 things about me without mentioning it.

8. Anyone who knows me will be able to tell you that I'm a horrible procrastinator. It's not something I'm proud of, and I've tried to work on it pretty much all my school life, to no avail.
But I feel like I'm making some sort of progress. It's not just about making a timetable. It's about discipline, and changing your mindset.

9. I am introverted and shy. Used to be extremely so. I'm learning not to be so shy, but I'm still very introverted. I like being introverted.

10. I love music. I used to hate a lot of types of music (i.e. rap, techno, and rnb) but lately I started liking most music. There is still music I don't like, but I enjoy music a bunch more now that I like more music, savvy?
I love getting 'lost' in a song, if you'll allow me to be extremely hackneyed for a moment, but I love the atmosphere a song creates, and the story it tells. I love pretending that my life is a movie and the song playing is part of the soundtrack. Some music makes me cry.

11. I also love movies! I will watch any type of film really, as long as it's made well. I really love films that make you think about things. I love films with good cinematography. I love short films and foreign films.

12. I'm female. Just in case you hadn't picked that up yet.

13. I love grammar and language and words. I love reading about grammar and learning about where our language comes from and how to use it correctly. I love how words have meanings attached to them, and how certain combinations of words can inspire or motivate, give you shivers or fill you with horror.

14. I love graphic design. It makes me as happy as grammar. I don't love bad graphic design. It makes me cringe.

15. I don't have one favourite colour. I just can't choose one, they're all so gosh darn good. I do have favourite colours for different things though. My favourite colour for cucumber is green. My favourite colour for lipstick is not green, etc.

16. I love making other people happy. Sometimes to the point of being a people pleaser and a pushover. This is bad but I'm working on it.

17. When I first started this list, this point read 'I don't drink'. But now, that has changed and I do drink. One time I was stressed out so my mum gave me a beer? Good to see you're teaching me responsible habits, mum.

18. If I had the money and the time, I would be interested in fashion. But I would still shop at op shops a lot. As it is, I don't have the money or the time, most of my shopping is done at op shops and target. Also I think money wasted on expensive brands can be better spent elsewhere.

19. I have never kissed a boy/had a boyfriend. I feel strange writing that? Also, I have never kissed a girl, just to set the record straight. Gettit? Straight? Ahhhaha. Not having kissed anyone is a fact I'm usually proud of. But soon I won't be a teenager anymore, and my 'abstinence of everything to the extreme turned frigidity' is starting to sadden me. Sweet (and sour?) 20. Sigh.

20. I have never been outside Australia, though I have been to every state/territory except for Western Australia.

21. I have a Deviant Art page that I like to post some arty things on.

22. I am 19 years old.

23. I have sung on stage with famous German children's singer Rolf Zuckowski. (ha)

24. I am sad. Often.

25. I can't stand filing my nails

26. I also can't bite my nails. I've tried before, to no avail. They're just too darn thick.

27. Because I've never had a boyfriend, etc, I'm quite afraid of having one.

28. I am the messiest person I know.

29. I drink far too much tea and coffee.

30. I got an A+ for my VCD folio in yr 12. That means I must be awesome.

31. Contrary to number 30, I'm actually not up myself.

32. I started this list when I was 17.

33. I'm extremely indecisive. But learning to be otherwise.

34. It is much easier for me to admit my faults than my good traits.

35. I'm so disorganised. My mind is disorganised.

36. I love acting like a child again.

37. I love hugs.

38. I think love, as in romantic love, is funny. How funny that people love each other. How funny that the people you don't love, are loved by someone else? How funny that some people love you, and others don't? You'd think the odds would be tiny that you would love someone who would love you back.

39. I'm fairly awkward. Sometimes. I have awkward days. But I can laugh at it.

40. I'm a semi-scrunch-folder. I don't scrunch it up into a tight ball, it's more of a messy fold.

41. I detest sea creatures. Except for maybe the simplest of fish.

42. I'm not arachnophobic, but I don't like spiders. Actually, in referance to these last two points, if you are a creature that has less than two legs, or more than four, stay the hell away from me. I don't even want to hear about you.

43. My old church was severely corrupt. Severely. It's not something I generally talk about, though I wish sometimes that it wasn't something 'swept under the rug' like it has been. And by church I also probably mean cult.

44. My family often tells me I'm so much like my dad. Which I hate. Not because I hate my dad, but because they only pick on me for his faults, not his good qualities..

45. I actually AM a lot like my dad. Which is why it's so annoying when my family reiterates that for me.

46. I have no idea where my life is going, and that makes me feel even more scattered and lost and stressed.

47. I love rain. The smell, the sound. It's so relaxing.

47. I'm no stranger to fear. It likes to attack me.

49. I absolutely love writing. I just may study it at Uni. I'm going to write books some day.

50. This year has turned out nothing like I expected or wanted. This point applies to most years since probably I became a teenager.

51. I collect pretty notebooks and journals.

52. I write fanfiction. If you click that link, keep in mind that most of the things were written in my 15-year-old crazy fangirl stage. So. Just laugh a lot. But maybe even just don't click the link. Because, that would embarrass me.

53. I don't think Harry Potter is evil.

54. I like organising things, which clashes a bit with my disorganisation.

55. I'm allergic to animal fur.

56. I don't like olives.

57. I have a mad scar on my chin where I had stitches when I was three.

58. I aspire to one day eat an entire Brendan Burger.

59. I love taking photos.

60. Even if I wanted to do drugs (which I don't) I would have no idea where to get them.

61. I love to volunteer for things. But. Lately, I'm drained.

62. I love spending time with quality people.

63. If I spend too much time with people I don't want to be around, I become extremely drained and depressed.

64. I have an itchy finger. Scratch scratch.

65. I no longer have an itchy finger.

66. My current favourite bible verse is Isaiah 54:10:

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

67. I stand away from the microwave when I'm cooking things.

68. The beach is my favourite place to be. I'm only a little bit of a nature junkie, but when I'm at the beach or in the forest or in the middle of the desert... sigh.

69. This number still makes me giggle like a child on the inside.

70. I have undiagnosed and untreated depression.

71. I failed my Probationary Drivers License test twice. It was both better and worse when I failed the second time, because it wasn't such a shock, but damn it crushes me every time I think about it.

72. I work at Savers in Greensborough. It's like a massive op shop, or a K-Mart where everything is second hand.
I love it, I actually like going to work. Some people think that's weird, but hey, I'd rather be weird than hate my job every day. I'm so grateful for this job.

73. Some days, I freak out at how quickly my life is going. Other days, I can't bare the thought of all these years stretching on and on until I'm old.

74. Family dinners used to be a favourite thing, now I'd say that they're an un-favourite thing.

75. I live with my sister, her husband, and their three children. It doesn't feel like home. My old house has been sold. I have no home.

76. When people drink from drink bottles near me, I get very sudden and violent urges to break things and scream.

77. I love stationery.

78. My life belongs to Jesus.

79. Sometimes I think about how silly that sounds, and then I think of all the things Jesus has done for me, and all the times I've experienced him and his love, and I know that he is real.

80. I passed my third Probationary license test. It was an epic tale or storms and zero visibility and broken traffic lights and a really good-looking tester.

81. I love food almost a little too much.

82. Starting in October 2009 to the present (any hopefully beyond) is my year of zero alcohol. I think I'm doing pretty well. Granted, I didn't drink a lot before this, but I could see where my drinking path was headed and I didn't like it.

83. I don't like to choose best friends. Because friends change so much I think it just adds unnecessary stress on both ends of the relationship. It's all about expectation.

84. I like to think that I 'get it', you know? It's probably just from a life time of introspection, but you know how some people just don't 'get' things? Well, I may be vague and naive, but I 'get' things.

85. I am studying a Bachelor of Creative Arts at Deakin University. My major is Visual Art, and I am doing a minor sequence in Graphic design. Although that doesn't count for anything.

86. I don't get nearly enough sleep, ever.

87. I'm a youth leader at my church and I absolutely love it. I love being able to serve Jesus freely, and I just love the people.

88. At the time of writing this, I will regress to tweeny days and admit that I have a 'crush' on someone. Teehee! But I'll never tell you who.

89. I fall in love with people on public transport. And get really sad when they get off the bus or train before I do.

90. I have never flown in a dream. That I remember. Or had my teeth fall out. Apparently they are both common dreams.

91. I've never been to Boston in the fall.

92. I would like to go and visit some hot desert-y places. Egypt, Morocco, or just the whole Mediterranean or something in the summer.

93. I am not overweight, but I am curvy. I'm sick of all the regular sized clothes being made for one body type: The Stick. Any search for more curve-friendly clothes always lands me in the plus size section or store, which I am emphatically not. It annoys me.

94. I'm an observer. Like I said, yes, maybe I'm vague, and I don't often observe the important things, but all the little details are stored in filing cabinets in my brain.

95. I want you to know how precious you are.

96. I just want someone to hold me.

97. It's a long, self-absorbed process, writing 100 things about yourself. I have enjoyed it, and been frustrated, and run out of things to say, and then found things to say, over and over again.

98. I am really paranoid when I cook chicken. Like, really. I'm surprised I never burn it, I cook it so long, and I wash my hands a million times and wipe the bench lots throughout the whole process.

99. I have some really amazing friends in my life, and I love them, and it's taken me a long time to get to this point where I enjoy my friends and their company, not just try to be everything for them.

100. I believe I can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! (Like, on a jet plane or something, or I could get like 3 feet of air that time)

Donejamin. It's been almost 3 years. Maybe 2 and a half. You should write a list, too. You'll probably beat my time though.

09 April, 2008

OH- Freude! Freude! Freude!

Schließlich! Ich kann dieses bekanntgeben.

Meine Schwester wird ein Baby haben!

Frieden heraus, yo.

07 April, 2008

A blog because.

This is a blog post mainly because I was sick of seeing the green solitaire picture... it clashes with my layout.

Anyway, now I'm stuck with finding something interesting to blog about, which is not that hard really, but all the things I want to blog about are either only interesting to me, or are more the sort of things you would write in a diary, rather than posting them on the Internet for everyone to read.

I will tell you about my iPod - because I'm ever so sure you want to hear about it. Also it was the first object to come to mind.

I bought my iPod from ebay, using my sister Holly's account. It cost me roughly $180 for a 40GB Photo iPod.
It was my most expensive Christmas present and I bought it myself. How very... sad? Not sad that I didn't get expensive presents, but sad that I didn't get anyone else expensive presents... anyway.

It was refurbished, which is sort of like used but not.

I named my iPod, during a silly mood one day, 'DJ PhatPod Chunky' due to its fat and chunky nature, and its ability to play what we generally call music.

My iPod has a battery life of about negative 3 hours, which is really inconvenient.
I do exaggerate though, but it only lasts a few hours before informing me (when the battery meter is still quite full) that my iPod has no battery power left, and I need to connect it to a power source.

I have fully reset and wiped my iPod once. Because it decided to go all spaz and not turn on properly.

Josh frequently borrows my iPod to listen to in his car. Once he took it without asking and I told him off. A little.

I do not love my iPod; it is an inanimate object. But it is nice to be able to listen to music when DJ's battery permits.

04 April, 2008

Solitary glitch.

Umm... so... this is frustrating.

Care to elaborate, Microsoft?

Tasmania and the happy-haps.

This is very overdue... but here is a post on all things Tassie and Emily!

I went to Tasmania on the 29th February for the weekend for a giant family reunion party type thing.
A family reunion in Tasmania... awkward, no?
Anyway, we were celebrating 200 years since our convict ancestor, Catherine Kearney, came to Aussieland from Ireland. My mum organised a fair portion of the event, so for the past several months there's been lots of family trees and books and mum getting excited about anything Irish or to do with convicts and Australian settlement.
The weekend was like this:

Caught a plane early in the morning. I love flying. It's fantastic, especially when it's cloudy. I feel like Mario except that there are no coins to collect.

We couldn't check into the hotel until the afternoon so we walked around the CITY of Hobart. The CITY. We caught up with my Dad's friend who used to go to our church, then we went to the movies and saw The Bucket List. It was fair good. But not so good that I would add it to a list of favourite movies.

We stayed at the Old Woolstore Hotel. It was pretty good. I haven't stayed in that many hotels but it was one of the better ones I've stayed in.

Friday night was the first event, we had a cocktail party (there were NO cocktails. What? Disappointing) and the Mayor of Tassie was there. He made a speech. Woo.
After that Josh and I walked around with our cousins trying to find a bottle shop. Pretty much everything was closed. ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. IN THE CITY. AT LIKE 8:30.
They found one eventually and stocked up on alchomahol, then we went to our cousins' hotel room and played drinking games. I drank water, so to make it more interesting they made me drink a whole glass of water instead of having a sip of booze.

Markets are great, I love them.
There were a few buskers who were pretty good too.

Saturday afternoon I walked all around Hobart looking at the shops and stuff. It didn't take very long.

Saturday night we had a ball! In the town hall, it was pretty cool. It was a convicts and settlers ball, Craig Petty was the only one who went as a convict.
It was fun walking down the street back to the hotel. In a ball gowns and tops hats and tails.
Went to our cousins' hotel room again after that. More drinking games. I drank lots of water again.

Sunday morning I caught up with Matt Mason which was fun, and he showed me where he goes to Uni and stuff.

Sunday arvo was a family picnic and a tour around an old old property thing.
Then we went back to my mum's cousin's house for my mum's 50th birthday. Fun fun fun. She's old.

Plane home, end!

I swear I watched Pirates of the Caribbean about 8 times. But it was only halves of it at a time. It was showing on repeat in our hotel rooms, so whenever I wasn't doing anything - Pirates!
As much as I love to make fun of it, Tasmania is a really nice place generally. Well, Hobart is. I would move there if I didn't want to stay here.

My name is Emily!
Since beach mission, I have done: School, school, school, church, school x a million.
I was sick for five weeks after mission. Then got sick again. Then got fired. Then quit. Then got sick again. Then decided to have a panic attack the other day.

Anyway, apart from feeling scattered, and being sick and tired and exhausted for most of this year, it's been pretty good. This year is the first year I've really seen people after beach mission. I suppose because before that I was just a little team kid, there wasn't anyone my age.

I promise I'll find something more exciting to blog about later.

28 March, 2008

Life is hard.

Dare I say it again?
Life is hard.

20 March, 2008

This week in the milky way...

Catch up with your favourite interplanetary characters, Daaa-vid and Em! Featuring Ben Chong!

This week we look into electorate issues, the tourism industry, strange flues and their cures, and Tasmania...

(white noise)

(found signal)


David says:


Emily - says:

dooby doo?

David says:

where are you?

Emily - says:

jupiter, naturally.

David says:

oh, i was there this afternoon. the weather was much better there

Emily - says:

yeah it's nice this time of year

David says:

and the food is so cheep cause the jupiterites don't eat it

Emily - says:

and that big spot thing is a great tourist attraction, it's amazing to see close up.

David says:

true, but it's got all commercial now. to see true jupiterite culture you have to go to the other side and hire a bike

Emily - says:

true that. me and my travelling buddy were going to try that out last time we went to jupiter, but she came down with a bad case of that horrible jupiter flu thing, forget what it's called, nasty though.

David says:

yeah nasty that. my friend once had it for a week. got so delerous he thought he was a tonka truck

Emily - says:

oooh, that must have been hard to handle.

David says:

yeah, he kept making us push him around the sand pit making engine noises.

Emily - says:

ha, bet you got a lot of strange looks. how'd you cure it? the usual? or was it one of those new fancy trial things?

David says:

just the usual, we ran his head under cold water while the temptations played and the reinacted his favourate moment from disneys snow white

Emily - says:

ahhh yeah. snow white eh? that's an unusual one, that. usually it's sleeping beauty or cinderella. i've heard the rarest one is beauty and the beast. snow white is still pretty rare though. apparently the snow white ones lose thier eyelashes after treatment. did your friend lose his? they're ment to be valuable.

David says:

no, he did have eyelashes to begin with. that is why we chose snow white. they loose their eyelashes, but it's fastest

Emily - says:

i see..

David says:

how did you cure your friend? or did it not get past the scaring it out of them stage?

Emily - says:

you know I didn't really end up finding out. thruth is we had a bad argument just before she got sick. she was so sick they had to send her to one of the moons for treatment. it was one of those new trial things so i think she got paid for it. she mentioned something about it not hurting and something about bathing in liquid carbon dioxide. but i haven't, er, really spoken to her for long since.

David says:

was that the trial that got shut down cause, will curing the patients, after a week they all turned into cumquats?

Emily - says:

nah, that was the one with the anti matter. i think that was the moon on the other side. very eccentric scientists and doctors over that part.

David says:

well you can't help but be a little eccentric when you have two head and are constantly break dancing. Did they ever figure out how to fix the gravity on the side?

Emily - says:

haha, no. they just sort of tried to cover it up. didn't do a bad job either. turned it into some sort of amusement park type thing. it fuels half their funding.

David says:

i'd think so, you can get some mad head spins when you have two

Emily - says:

yeah, bet the tasmanians would have the time of their lives! if they could afford a trip to jupiter... or anywhere for that matter... unfortunate really, poor things.

David says:

(much laughter!) yeah, they tried to get an appeal going for that, but it never got off the ground. i don't think they should have used an exercution as the main attraction

Emily - says:

indeed. they really don't get it do they? I do feel kinda sorry for them though, I mean, it's not ALL their fault. the interplanetary goals and needs assosciation and fund really screwed them over

David says:

i know, when we all got a big bag with a dollar sign on it. they got a potato chip.

Emily - says:

poor little fellas... oh well, not like we can do much. ben chong's had a hard enough time just getting 'tassie aid' off the ground. there's a lot of red tape to get though. Africa was easy compared to this. how about that though? who would have thought that the very first interplanetary minister/adjudicator/whatever they're called would have been from earth! and african at that, and ben chong personally sponsered him when he was a child! I mean, talk about climbing the ranks!

David says:

and you know he feels for the tasmanians. just think of the quote after he visited hobart, "i know my mother was eaten my a hippo when i was 6, and my brother tryed to kill me for food till i was 15, but you tasmanians have it truly hard"

Emily - says:

that went down in history, that quote! famous.

David says:

i think it may have been that quote that won him the election

Emily - says:

yeah. good bloke, really. i'm glad that slimy looking guy from pluto didn't win. didn't like the looks of him, he was all shifty and suspicious.

David says:

and i didn't believe for a second that those photos of him kicking puppies with interglatic mob bosses were doctored. he just got busted!

Emily - says:

pretty much. i know a photoshopped image when i see one, and THAT was real. VERY real. you know, they tried to pay me out to keep it hush hush when I was called in to study the image. i think that pretty much proves it, speaks for itself. haha, should've taken the pay out though and said it was a fake. they offered a LOT of money. and meteor points as well, being the avid fan that i am. but oh well, i couldn't really. lie to the whole galaxy? i just couldn't.

David says:

you could have taken the money, then refuse to release a statement. then put the money towards tassie aid

Emily - says:

yeah i suppose, but if i refused to tell the public that the photo was faked then i'd pretty much be on bad terms with all of pluto. which i suppose doesn't seem that bad, but they're pretty vicious, plutonians. i think they're bitter about the whole not-being-a-planet-anymore thing. pretty proud creatures they were.

David says:

yeah, they sure took that hard. they didn't talk to anyone for a month. (that's a pluto month, which is like 5 years). Then they introduced the plutonian club card making it well imbarassing to visit pluto with out one. the plutonains in tourism did not like that (not that the plutonian tourst trade was that big).

definatly not a race you want ticked off at you.

Emily - says:

yeah. i told the minister to keep the photo of the dog kicking as quiet as possible. the plutionians already knew i was inspecting it and I didn't want them all angry if it was made really public. glad he kept it quiet in the end. good man. didn't defame his opponent just to win an election. he had it in the bag though really. OH gotta go! out.

David says:

Em, you are much fun! we must do this more

Emily - says:

ahh, indeed, i think it is a best way of conversing.

Emily - says:

over and out!

David says:

over and out!

(lost signal)
(white noise)

Tune in next time to see what wacky adventures our funny little bloggers get up to!

P.S. Best conversation ever? Or did you really have to be there?

P.P.S. I'll blog about Tasmania for REAL soon, too much procrastination has been going on, but now it's holidays.

P.P.P.S. Happy Easter and stuff, kiddies!

P.P.P.P.S. Hey Jesus, thanks for dying for us and everything... I mean, it sounds like I'm joking right now, but I'm not... I could write something that sounds more meaningful, but I don't think mere English words, as powerful as they can be, could ever repay what did for all of us. Ta, buddy.

22 February, 2008

Exemplary Notepad of Significant Importance?

10 February, 2008

Tired. Old. Cliché

I have been thinking a lot lately, as I often do, about God, church and Christianity, what I do/don't like about it all, and how it fits in to my life.
One of my biggest problems/annoyances with all that stuff at the moment is cliché
s. I find that church, a lot of the time, is always the same thing over and over again. We go there, we sing some songs, do tithes and offering, someone preaches, and that's the end. And it seems that every song, every preacher uses the same tired old clichés, the same 'christianised' phrases. I'm over it. I want more.

I'm not saying that those things we do all the time, those
clichés, have no validation, but it seems that we only describe God one way, we only see him one way.
Growing up in a Christian home, I've heard it all. Everything is tired and overused. And I want something more than applying different positive adjectives to my eternal saviour.

You would think, that with God having created the whole world... with God creating everything... with God being everything... that we'd have more than this
cliché view of him... God is eternally multi-faceted, so why is it that we only ever have things to say like 'you are holy' 'hallelujah' 'grace' 'mercy' 'falling to my knees' 'God you are this, you are that...' etc...

Words, I really love words, and what they can do, but they're just not enough for me.
If God is so much, then why is this all we have?
Why do we always have to worship through singing at church?
There are endless ways to express our love (or hate?) for God, because he is endless.

I'm so tired of going to church, and singing the same rewritten lyrics to a new tune and then hearing a sermon that I've usually heard something like before.

Once again, I'm not saying that those things are wrong, but I want something different, something more
. I want to really know this endless God, I want to know him like I haven't known him before.
And really, I'm so excited, because there is so much to explore and learn about Him. What I know is only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction, etc...
Everything I know right now can't be it, it can't be. And that is what gives me hope.

08 February, 2008

Psalm Number Emily.

This is the Psalm I wrote when Ben Wilson ran TNT at Beach Mission this year. I've been meaning to post it for a while, but I kept putting it off because I wasn't sure if I wanted to... actually now I'm thinking that I don't want to again.

Okay, I will post it.
Some of it might only make sense to me/some of it is very metaphorical.

Oh Lover, it's been years.
That time so long ago,
I drowned in you.

Oh Lord, how long has it been,
Since I saw your face shining down on me?

I wonder, if you wouldn't like to take my hand;
We'd walk, we'd sing, we'd dance.

Oh God, something rests heavy on my soul.
What weighs heavy is the want, the need to feel you.

I want to dry their tears, Lord;
I wonder if you wouldn't stop me drowning in my own.
I want to see them dance, Lord,
and I wonder, if just this time,
You wouldn't like to hold my hand;
We'd walk, we'd sing, we'd dance.


03 February, 2008

Possibly the best day of my life.

Mere words can not express my euphoria.
This face will do.


01 February, 2008

Poker Night Apology

I feel like I need to apologise for poker night for some reason.
I don't think I need to, per se, but I want to.

So, I am sorry, for the terribly bad poker party.
I am sorry because we never played poker, and people got drunk and were stupid, and Stu's friends came over, and the pancakes didn't work, and Josh slept in, and the atmosphere was horrible.

None of those things are directly my fault... except maybe the pancakes, although I vote we blame the pan. Non-stick my arrrrse.
As I was saying (typing), none of these things are directly my fault, but I feel like I should apologise for the whole thing just because I was half 'hosting' the party.

To get over the crappiness of the party, let's re-live some highlights.
-'Raving' to SNACK music!
-Glowsticks (Oh, and thanks Chongy for bringing most of them. Champion. Even though everyone took them all)
-Ruth (Why is Ruth a highlight? Because Ruth is awesome, and she changed the atmosphere when she was there)
-Brendan dancing
-Sober people

In short, I'm sorry it was crap, one day we'll have a better get together. We'll sing songs spin stories love laugh and drink wine.
Possibly without the wine.
I vote no alcohol.

30 January, 2008

Phillip Island

Well, this is not the most exciting thing I have to blog about, but I'm going to blog about it anyway.

Just got back yesterday from Cowes where we (being myself and church people) rented the bottom story of a house for three days and two nights.
I learnt many things, and it was a nice little holiday before school, but not the best. Here is the list of Wins and Fails (is anyone else getting mighty sick of those words?)

It's a holiday, what more can I say?
It was cheap.
No one was hurt.
I now have my iPod = music in the car.
Ice cream.

I didn't really know some of the people very well, which can be considered a win because I got to know them a little.
Lots of behaviour similar to that of poker night, but not as bad.
I couldn't breathe half of the time.
One of the guys had some issues or something, then someone sent him over the top and he disappeared for hours.

It was nicer after some of the people left on the second day because they had work and stuff. So there were less people and I like that.
I didn't really help that two of the guys like the same girl so they were always sort of competing, politely. And making mean jokes. Again, politely.

This blog is very boring for anyone to read.
But I just did it so that I could link it to my other blog.

26 January, 2008

Something New Update.


22 January, 2008

Something New.

This year, one of my 'resolutions' is to test the age old saying 'you learn something new every day' by writing down something new I learn every day.

I thought about making a new blog to post all the things I learn in, and maybe I still will, but if I do then I won't be able to really commit to it much. So for now I'll post interesting things that I learn.

1st January, 2008:
Be wary of things that melt.
I had a tub of Vaseline in my bag... along with my nice new diary I bought to write what I learn in.
Bad idea. My favourite t-shirt is ruined.

8th January, 2008:
It's fun to smoosh your hands in fruit salad.
That's right, you all ate that fruit salad, while Lisa and I had fun making it.

11th January, 2008:
I love bush dancing.
I always used to say that I hated bush dancing, but tonight we had a bush dance and I loved it!

18th January, 2008:
Coca Cola used to contain cocaine.
Only small amounts, but look it up, it's true.

20th January, 2008:
'Chic' is pronounced 'sheek'.
That could have been embarrassing; had I ever had to say 'chic' out loud, I would have said 'chick'.

Well, there are some things I've learnt this year. Now I'm off to learn some more.

20 January, 2008

Peninsula SUFM 2008

I never know how to start a blog, so this is my introduction to my blog about beach mission.
Okay, got that out of the way.

Beach mission this year was... good. This was the first year I didn't have my mum on team, and I was surprised that the only difference it made is that I didn't have anyone to scam money off.
This year is also the first time I was an 'official' leader because the other years I was too young, even though I did all the same things.
It felt strange to realise that I was a proper leader, I guess I still sort of feel like a team kid sometimes.

I had a lot more fun this year than other years I think, because of the people on team. There were loads of quality people this year, so that was fun, but the relationships with some team members were also what made my mission really bad.
I'm usually fairly easy going, but there were some people on team who I had to avoid so that I didn't crack it. But I won't really go in to that.

One of the things that really kept me going was time alone with God. If we didn't have that half an hour I don't think I would survive. I can get so frustrated being around so many people all the time, so TAWG was a life saver, and it's something that I want to keep doing in my daily life.

I was in the little teens group this year, which I love, but they're so annoying sometimes.
They were so easily excited and loud, it was hard to run any sort of planned program just because of the way they act, we also never expected to have such big numbers of them.
But they're fun to be around, and although whenever we tried to do something central to God they just made jokes or avoided it, I think we built some good relationships and foundations for later years.

What I love about mission, besides the relationships with the team and families, is the way we live. I love the simplicity of it, and I love that I don't need many things to live. I remember at one point getting dressed in the morning and looking at all the clothes I brought, I didn't even wear some of them, I didn't need half the stuff that I took on mission with me.
I would love to live like that every day. Sure, it's nice to have some luxuries now and then, but we don't need them.
I can't really get out what I'm trying to say properly, so if you understand then tell me so.

This simplicity is one of the reasons I didn't want to come home, back to a complicated life where I'll probably just get addicted to luxuries again. I also didn't want to listen to people complain about stupid trivial things which they seem to do a lot in this society.

And my asthma on mission was non-existent.
Now I'm home I can't breathe.

Post Mission Blues -
This year, there aren't really any PMB. I'm not exactly sure why this is, I thought maybe it was because of Matt's goodbye party--we got to see people so soon after. But even now the PMB still haven't really come.
Last year I nearly cried on the way home, this year was just 'meh'.

Overall, it was a good mission. One of my best and worst at the same time.