24 September, 2007

Another 3 things.

Thing 1.
Don't see Superbad. It's super bad.

Thing 2.
Went to one of those parties on Saturday where people just get drunk, hook up, and dance.
I don't drink or hook up, but I did dance with Hannah and Esther and people from youth which was fun, especially since I'm not generally a dancing person. This is where thing 3 took place.

Thing 3.

It was one of the guys from youth who had the party so half of my youth group was there and one of my smallgroup girls hooked up with the DJ which freaked me out a little but oh well, her decision. After a while she went outside to make a phone call and it just so happened that the DJ went outside too to have a smoke. Problem was we didn't know that, and I was worried because I know things about her past and no one could find either of them inside or outside, plus if anything happened to her I would feel responsible, even though it's not legally my responsibility.
She eventually reappeared, but then one of the other youth leaders went over to talk to her about it and she told me later that he was swearing his head off at her and telling her that she shouldn't be making out with guys and that if she goes somewhere she still needs to tell us even if it's a party. He was just belittling her and way overstepping the line.

Anyway, he made her cry and she never wants to come to church or youth again. She thinks everyone hates her, but they don't. I'm very angry. Because that was not his place, even if it was he should not speak to her, or anyone else like that.
I am so angry.

13 September, 2007


Life is not a fairytale, is it? I'm just having a sad realization, that's all.

The good guy doesn't always win.
I guess I've always been an optimist... which isn't a bad thing really. In my mind things will always just work out, and they usually do just work out in reality. Usually. The good guy usually wins in my life, even through all the crap.

But for some people it doesn't.
Sometimes it's hard for me to comprehend all the bad stuff in the world.
It makes me sad. I want to cry for those people who have nothing... the people who the bad guy always wins over...

I'm a pretty hopeful person most of the time. I wonder what it feels like to lose all your hope... hopeless...
I have a friend who scorns at people who are depressed, or hate life, or commit suicide, because she does not understand.

I've never been in that constant state of pure despair and hopelessness, but I can understand why people whould rather stop living...