24 January, 2007

Post Mission Blues.

Well, I might have figured it out.
The reason I got Post Mission Blues so bad this year is because I had nothing to go home to.
Sure there was youth, but that's once a week, and school is a downside, not an upside.
When I think about the changes in my life recently, the only reason I didn't want to leave beach mission so much, besides all the great people and kids/teens/families, is because I didn't want to go back home.

I really hate being at home, more than anything right now.
So much so that sometimes I refer to it as 'house' rather than 'home'.
I dread being at home.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could go somewhere to escape, but there's nowhere to go. My bedroom is the size of a box, and I have the privacy of a flea...as unrelated as fleas are...I just wanted to write flea...can we all move on? Good.
I can't drive either. Well, I can, but not by myself.

Anyway, I feel slightly better, to have figured out the deep, dark root of my PMB, but also feel slightly worse to face the fact that I hate it here.

Begin to hope...

22 January, 2007

The Sword is Mightier than the Pen

Haha, I made this movie last year when I was bored, and my media teacher thought it was awesome!
He's only slightly delusional, but hey, what can you do?

21 January, 2007

Would you rather be able to turn invisible, or be able to fly?

I would definitely rather be able to fly.
While I would love to be able to turn invisible and do all sorts of cool things, I think I would end up in a big mess, I would abuse the power.
I was talking about that to someone who'd rather be able to turn invisible than fly, and they said "Yeah, it's not such a big problem for me 'cause I'm not a Christian."
I was talking to him again later, and he said that if you ever want to reach out to someone who's not a Christian, don't call them 'un-saved'. He's been to his sister's youth group a few times, and when he'd talk to people they'd say things like "Oh, so you're unsaved."
What the hell? It just turned him right off, as I'm sure it would turn off anyone who wasn't a Christian.
How would a Christian feel walking into a group of 'un-saved' people if they all said "Oh, so you're a Christian."?
I would hate it.
People are making too much of an 'us and them' of Christians and non Christians, and it's the opposite of effective.

20 January, 2007

Umm, I forgive you?

Dang, I hate it when I'm around people who know I'm a Christian, and they apologize to me for everything they do wrong and every time they swear.
It's as if they've some how offended me, or they feel like I think they're below me.
I don't. At all.
I really don't care if someone swears around me, I'd rather people be themselves than feel like they have to tip toe around me.
I'm a Christian because I believe in God, and the birth, death, resurrection and all that jazz of Jesus, bad words don't really come into my relationship with God.
And I don't feel like I'm above other people just because I believe in God. Not at all.

The thing is, I never tell people off when they swear around me, so why do they feel like they have to apologize?

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... sorry, just felt like typing with this little toy, plastic axe that no one seems to know the origin of...

Anyway, why do they feel like they have to apologize?
I hate how Christians are just put into a tight-ass group by society.
People who put us into groups sometimes annoy me, but not nearly as much as the people who are stereotypical Christians, the people who give everyone else another reason to hate God, even though they themselves claim to love God.
You know the ones?
They ARE judgmental, and they think their way is the best way, and they get uptight about the most stupid things, like Harry Potter, or swearing, which brings me back to the fact that it's these sort of people who put us into these categories, and make others feel like they have to apologize to us...

What an original title.

So, this is my fist blog, not ever, but my first here.
Maybe it's obvious that this is my first blog, but anyway...
I don't know why I'm writing a blog, o why I don't just use MySpace.
I suppose, because I don't really know anyone on here, I don't have to write my blog for them. I do anyway, so what's the point? I always write my blogs for other people. Okay, maybe not specifically for other people, but I always write it based on what others with think. I don't lie, but I'm probably not being exactly true, because I always edit things out to sound like the person I want to be.

I even do this in my journal, I write things down, but I'm always conscious of what people would think reading it, so I write things based on that.
I'm even doing it now. Yes, right this very second. I'm writing this based on how it makes YOU think of me.

Sometimes even my thought patterns are like that. Gosh, how the hell do I make it stop?