Beach Mission '09

Here we go: Beach Mission '09. I can't sum it up quickly; it was probably the best and most bittersweet, longest yet quickest, and most different mission I've ever done.

Section 12:
So it all started post-mission 2008, when Craig was talking to me about section 12 and I knew where the conversation headed, what he was going to ask me, and what I was going to reply. He asked me to be on the section 12 core team, and though I didn't much want to leave section 6, the thought of helping to start something new was exciting, and it was one of those things that you just know you are meant to do.
I still did wrestle a lot with the idea. I had done seven beach missions at section 6; I know the people, I know the team, I have spent nearly half of my summers there.


Hub:
This year I was part of the core team, or 'hub' as some call it. The area that I looked after was team life, and I like to think that I was successful. Because our team life was pretty swell.
Being a hub member involved pre-mission meetings, getting up earlier on mission for more meetings, delegating tasks (the best bit), trying to be role-model-ishly responsible, making announcements, and crazy dancing.
I only had really one day with a full siesta while on section 12, just because there were always things to do and organise. Next year though I plan on being more prepared and having my siesta thankyouverymuch.


Highlights:
Going on both sections:
I definitely loved getting the best of both worlds. I hadn't been planning on joining section 6, but I'm glad things worked out the way they did because I had much fun and got to see the section 6 program.

Matt Waters Owns Josh:
A group of us are standing around one night and Josh makes a comment about 'guy' who likes 'girl', and 'girl' has boyfriend, so 'guy' should back off.
Matt says:
"Josh, last year you were trying to pick up my sister and she had a boyfriend. You're a tool."
Oh, it was pure gold.

Section 12's team life:
I don't think I've ever worked with such a unified team. There were next to no conflicts, and everyone got along with everyone else, it was brilliant.

Section 6 Beach Party:
I danced to the Backstreet Boys, whilst wearing socks with my sandals, what more can I say?

Dave B gets his gansta on:
On section 12 one day it was Dave Burt, Boots, and me on the Memory Verse, and we did a gangster rap. Oh the hilarity, becausewearethethreemostganstapeopleonmission. Not.

Lowlights:
Failing:
Going home to fail my license test was a bummer. But I'm still a pretty wicked driver. But I think it may be the very first thing I've failed in my life that I actually tried at. Short of trying and failing to catch a ball, which hardly counts.
I had been planning on not telling anyone when my test was, in case I failed it, so I was going to change the day to not-the-day-after-mission. But people were all 'no do your test!' so that worked out well after not driving for two weeks and being super tired. Not.

Section 12 Cooks:
Probably the only low point from section 12. It wasn't really the cooks that were the lowlight, more the fact that I'm used to my mum being the cook and the kitchen tent being like a second home. Our cooks were not only not my mother but also very strict and uptight compared to what I was used to, which was just weird.


Comparison - Section 6 & 12:
I lurved getting to go on both sections; they were both awesome but in totally different ways.
Section 12 was fantastic, we had a really great team and the atmosphere was always fun and relaxed. The program, though, was lacking and scattered. It was good, but there were a lot of new people, plus the mission has only been running again for two years now so we don't have as much resources or materials that a lot of us are used to. (aka section 6 doesn't share. OUCH. kidding)

Section 6 had a schmrilliant program I thought! It was very very good and there were soooo many people who came along. The quality of what I saw was just great. The atmosphere was different to section 12 though. It wasn't bad or negative, it was just such a massive contrast to go from a team on such a high to one that was not as high. On drugs. (N).
People seemed more tired at section 6, which is understandable because of the length, and it may just be my way of adding drama to everything, but the atmosphere sometimes even felt a little tense. Although I did hear about quite a lot of tension between different team members.

It looks like I'm on for section 12 in 2010 again, which is still bittersweet. But I'm looking forward to gettin' some meetin'*s on.

*that apostrophe is not misplaced.

Rhymability. And Not So.

Some messages that were saved as drafts in my phone:

What hackneyed phrase is this;
That ignorance is bliss?
But, oh, what wouldn't I give,
For that state of 'love to live'?
Why be in the deep to drown,
When the shallow can just walk on out?

-

This is something I wrote throughout the year after beach mission '08.

You linger in the half-light,
And something is writ
By the sea side.
And all we have is our half-minds.

-

John Marsden,
Your book 'Everything I Know About Writing' has been very useful. I used it to swat a mosquito. I missed. But I'm quite sure I'll kill him one day.

-

Ivy, Avery, Violet, Esther, Estelle, Micha, Noah.

-

Boggiu?*

-

If it's going to destroy my life to have you remember me,
I'd rather be forgotten.

-

Sarcacke*

-

But I'll tell you, I wasn't expecting this;
I wasn't expecting bliss.

-

*These are both words that I or someone else tried to spell, but clearly didn't work. I'm not sure what the actual words are meant to be.

There, Benchong. I blogged 3 times in a day, you owe me 5. GetOnIt.

Forgiven.

I think that I'm very nearly ready to let go, ready to forgive. There's no way I can forget, it's who I am now, it's my life. But I can forgive. You no longer owe me. I accept the fact that though I long to hate you, I can't. I accept that you weren't all bad; you couldn't have been, no one is. I accept the fact that you were a person who loved other people, and I accept that other people loved you. And I accept the fact that your one downfall, your weakness and failure has ruined my life in so many ways, but made so many other parts of it stronger. I accept these things, and I no longer harbour the bitterness and resentment. I no longer wish bad things upon you. What you did was wrong, and you know that, but there is no productivity in hating you from afar.

So. With all this said. I forgive you.

-



I wrote this a long time ago now. I will most likely never explain it. Not here at least.

Beach Mission '09 - The Prelude

Not quite ready to blog about mission yet. It was all such a quick blur that I am still sorting things out in my head.

But here is a short poem while we wait:

Black Booger, Black Booger,
Sitting in my nose.
Black Booger, Black Booger,
Tissues are your foes.

Black Booger, Black Booger,
So satisfying to pick,
Black Booger, Black Booger,
But not quite so to lick.*

Black Booger, Black Booger,
It's bitter-sweet to say goodbye.
But Black Booger, Black Booger,
To say I miss you would be a lie.
-

*Not that I've tried... but I can't imagine it being very tasty.

PSUFM Blog

Just to let you know,
A Peninsula SUFM blog has been set up at http://psufm.blogspot.com/

The blog will let you know everything that's going on, with some pictures and prayer requests as well.

Go have a look, subscribe via email, and don't forget to tell your friends about the blog and visitor's day!

Stages.

I remember stages of my life not so much by its events or how old I was, but by how I remember feeling about things. This is probably true of a lot of people.

When I look back at past years, I don't usually think "Oh that's the year my sister was married," or, "that's the year I started high school." It's more "that's when I was really scared all the time," or "that's when I was an excited (!!!) pre-pubescent teen."

Some stages, like the ones I've just mentioned, I can remember with clarity. Others not so much.

I remember being a child; I was mostly happy, off in my own little world, and very shy. I also remember being scared of a lot of things.

I remember being in primary school; I was still mostly happy, I thought I was right most of the time. I was still very shy, and still scared of things.

I remember early high school; I was a super excited 13 year old girl. Most sentences were followed with too many exclamation marks. I still thought I was right all the time; often found it hard to get off my high horse and admit when I'd been wrong. It was around this time, when one night I was 'scared' by I-can't-remember-what, and was sick of it, that I read my bible and prayed until it stopped. I remember always wanting to help people, always putting them first.

I remember mid high school; I started to get over my excitement and enthusiasm. I had a massive creative burst; I was writing and drawing and loving it. The being scared had not come back since it stopped. But my creative and passionate burst was just that; a burst. After that it was a deserted, ugly rut. I remember being lonely, and apathetic. I remember feeling 'out of it' in social situations, I remember hating that, hating my self consciousness and hating the fact that I didn't want to help people any more. I felt so selfish. So I covered all of that up. I remember wearing a mask each and every day. And always, though I didn't want to, putting other people first (that of course was followed by guilt and shame) and pretending I was fine and happy until I was just so tired that I couldn't do it any longer.

And this is where I am today; this is a stage of depression, anxiety, cynicism, sarcasm, and fear. It is worse that being in a rut, worse than being in 'the desert'. I can feel the mask wearing away; it is so painful. I cannot bear it. I am sick of feeling out of place and 'not-together', I am sick of feeling like everyone is on some different level, or page to me, I am sick of feeling like no one feels about me the way I feel about them. I am sick of not being able to do things, and not being able to concentrate because I just can't seem to organise my mind. The smallest of things can bring me down in an instant and overwhelm me.
I wonder if the previous stages led to this place... I wonder if focusing on how I was 'stuck' forced me into this horrible place, or if it's the other way around, and I focused on it because I am in this horrible place.

It's funny, at the start of this year, I had 'visions of grandeur' of what it would be like, of what positive and impacting decisions I would make.

Not one of those expectations has been realised. Not even one.
I have no idea what I am doing. Except.
I am crying.

Emily's How To: Clean Your Room

Yes, stop, I know, I know, I am the last person who should be telling anyone how to clean their room, but if you are so neat that you never really have to clean your room, then can you really know how to clean the entire room?
I say no. You need experience in room cleaning first. But if you are tidy, maybe you could give us all some nice tips on how to be neat in the first place, and how not to let your room become the disaster that it (likely) is.

If you are one of those disorganised, messy individuals much like myself (I know you're out there) and just can not keep your room clean, but would really like to have a big clean out once in a while, then this is for you.

NOTE:
This is not "How To Keep Your Room Clean and Tidy."
This is: "How To Clean Your Crash Site Of A Room."

No judgement here, kiddies.

--

1. You need to tackle the mess small bits at a time to avoid that overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
Do you know when you get that great inspiration to clean your room? "This is the day," you think, "I'm going to clean it! It will be amazing!"
Alas, your visions of grandeur are shattered the moment you see the mountain of inoperable mess. Grudgingly, you strive on, only to be distracted by something you deem 'more important', for example, updating your Facebook status, or deciding that maybe your trophies need polishing.
Later, you feel like a guilty failure; you broke your promise to yourself, plus you are a messy slob.
But, not to worry, here are three ways to combat this 'mass mess' syndrome:

-Scoop everything on the floor into one big pile
This helps to keep the mess in one spot, giving you room to clean, helping the room look a little neater, and also stops the mess from looking so spread out and large.

-Clean for 5/10/15/30/Whatever minutes a day*
Instead of giving yourself the near-impossible task of cleaning the entire mess, clean for, say, five or ten minutes in the morning or before bed. Clean for longer if you want to. This is a much more achievable goal; over time your room will become steadily cleaner, and because you can meet your goals, you end up with a sense of accomplishment rather than guilt.

-Make a list of things to clean (My favourite)
First, my list just today looked like this:
Green
Blue
Books
Paper Rubbish
Make up & Jewellery
Bowls, Cups, etc...
Red
Stationary
White
Top-Half Clothes
Plastic Rubbish
Bottom-Half Clothes

Okay, so do you get the point? Make a list of things to clean, you can make the categories anything you like.
Next:
Much like the 5 or 10 minute rule, clean small amounts and work your way down the list, e.g. clean up everything that is green. This should only take about 5 minutes (unless you really like green) then when you are done, you can either go and do something else or move on to the next item on the list.
TIP: Contrary to my list, it would be beneficial to clean up clothes first, that way you can have your washing on and clean the rest of your room while you wait.

TIP: After cleaning bits of your room, it might help you to move everything into a pile again, to keep your room tidy(ish) until your next session.

2. You need places to put things.
Okay, it's not for the want of more storage that all of my stuff ends up on the floor, it's because I'm lazy.
Nevertheless, unless you have places to store and organise all of your things, your room is not going to be clean.
Here are some ways to be all 'yay storage!':

-Go to Ikea
Just go there. Freakin' inspiring. If you're on a no spending diet, don't take your wallet because you will buy things.

-Get some boxes, drawers, and the like. Get nice shallow boxes to store things under your bed, which also helps stop the junk and dust that accumulates there. You can get plenty of cheap but handy storage options from The Reject Shop and those Asian stores that sell EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE.

-Clean your desks/tables/surfaces/draw

ers/under the bed first. If this is too daunting, just sweep all the junk from them onto the floor until you can clean it later. Dodgy? Meh.
This way you have all your storage areas ready for placing all the junk you're going to clean off your floor.

3. You need rubbish bags.
Undoubtedly, there will be a CRAPLOAD of junk and rubbish in your room that you will want to chuck out. Sometimes I use plastic bags I find on the floor while cleaning, sometimes I use actual garbage bags (and I fill them, too. Atrocious.)
To do this:

-Get some freakin' bags.
Put the rubbish in.
Put it in the bin.

4. Finishing Touches.
-Vacuum: Clean carpet makes it look superclean.
-Dust: Dusting seems a bit cliche... but seriously, dust makes you cough and wheeze and stuff, get rid of it.
-Actually CLEAN: Wipe the windows or whatever, your desk or table if you have one, or any other surface that is dirty. Once again, bad for the lungs, and if left dirty will likely grow mould, which is worse for the lungs.
-Organise things nicely: Photos on your bedside table, things neat on your desk, awww, it's picture perfect! You'd better take a photo, because if you're anything like me, it's not going to be clean for long.



Well, that's pretty much it.
Just remember to take it a bit at a time so that you can avoid guilt and feeling overwhelmed. Reward yourself after you have finished your day's cleaning goal. Get your storage on. And make it look all puuurty!

Try to keep it clean, obviously, but also try not to feel like a failure if it becomes messy again. You're not a bad person, you're just not really tidy, and we need a balance of the tidies and untidies in the world, k?
So if (and when) it looks as if is has been ransacked, just clean it again!

I'll leave you with something my (awesome) grandma says about my room when it's messy:
"Oh, look at your room! It's got that lived-in look!"
Then she laughs lots and is happy.
Thanks, Mama.

ENDETH.

*This 5/10 minute plan is a little common sense, but more something my sister Holly introduced me to by giving it a name/face.

Sometimes the mess is so bad that you uncover small children who have been lost in your room.

Messy

I promise I'll clean it one day...

I remember, in year seven, saying to my friends,

"You know, one day we'll be in year twelve, and we'll all be like 'we're in year twelve and this is our last year of school!'"

And here we are.
And it's been said.
Countless numbers of times.

My 13 years of schooling is finally coming to its end.
And I am not happy,
or sad,
or excited,
or scared.

Nothing feels weird or different.
It
all
feels
the
same.

Poverty

Well, BC's post alerted me to the fact that it is Blog Action Day (B.A.D.? You would think that they might choose a more appropriate name and, in turn, get a more appropriate acronym. Although, maybe this acronym inspires humour, and that's a good thing!)

So, the B.A.D. 'theme', if you will, is Poverty.
Poverty is... bad.

I have never experienced poverty. I have never been to a third world country, never seen the 'slums' of my own country either, really, and I have never, myself, been in a state of poverty.
There is always, of course, what the media show and tell us about poverty, but that is still not really experiencing it.

Duh. Yes, Emily, everyone knows that.

I suppose because I haven't experienced poverty, I am apathetic towards the topic.
Yes, I know poverty is bad. Yes, I know people die every day from preventable causes. Yes, I know people live in houses smaller than my bedroom. Yes, I know there are people who are my age and have to drop out of school to work and support their family. Yes, I know.

But somehow for me, and for millions of other people I suppose, just knowing all of that isn't always enough.
People are still selfish, including me. People still complain about things that don't matter...

Even though I feel apathetic towards poverty, I don't ignore it. I donate to charities, I join in with fund-raisers, it gives me a good feeling. But I don't really get passionate about it. Then again, it feels like a long time since I've been passionate about anything.



There are lots of 'end poverty' movements. Claiming that we can end poverty in our life time.
I think I believe that. I think. I mean, in theory it's possible, in theory we could eradicate poverty within a week. A day, even.

But will it ever happen?

Even if we do 'eradicate' poverty, there will be a new form of poverty. Societies will always be divided into status and class, and while all people may have basic human rights, a place to live, people to love, and food on the table, there will still be people with more money. There will still be people with less money.
So, in a way, we can end poverty, and in a way, we can't.


Gosh, I'm so defeatist.


Although, a positive way of looking at poverty through this 'defeatist' view would be to look at a story I've heard a few times about a boy walking on the beach...


-
There is a man walking along the beach after a storm. The storm has washed thousands of starfish onto the sand, and they are all lying in the sun, drying out and dying. The man sees a boy up ahead who is throwing the starfish back into the now calm water.

How can he ever hope to save all these star fish?

The man walks closer to the boy, who is still diligently picking up and throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

"Hey kid, what are you doing?"

"I'm saving the starfish."

The man does not want to let the boy down, but how on Earth can the boy save all the starfish? They are drying out much too quickly.

"But kid, how can you ever hope to make a difference? There are thousands of them, they're all going to dry out before you get to them."

The boy did not stop, or hesitate. He did not give up and go home. He just picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the sea before speaking to the man.

"It made a difference for that one."

He threw in another starfish.

"Made a difference for that one"

Another starfish, another.

"Made a difference for that one, and that one."

-

There are probably countless versions of this story, and I don't know if it's true or not, but it's a good allegory for poverty.

Maybe we can't change the world. Maybe we can't eradicate poverty forever, or ever.
But why should that be reason to give up, just because we can't change the whole world?

We can make a difference for one person. And another person. And another person.

Why should fear of failure or minimalism stop us?

---

This post is part of Blog Action Day 08 - Poverty

I've been going to 'Pentecostal' churches for pretty much my whole life.
One corrupt and super dodgy. The other awesome, so far.
I've visited plenty of other churches.

When I was younger I didn't really know about different 'types' of churches, and I just thought that non-Pentecostal churches weren't as passionate, weren't as 'in' to Christianity as we were.

I certainly don't think this now.


But I'm sorry,
for my naivety.

Such Love...

I don't really have anything to blog about... I just felt like blogging.
It's been ages since I've written anything blog-worthy...

A lot has happened since my last 'real' blog post, here are some of those happenings in list-form:


-I live with my sister Holly now! It's exciting and challenging and different. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it.
It's good because I am learning and growing, bad because it's inconvenient travel-wise and because it's hard to break old lifestyle habits.

-I turned sweet (and sour?) 18! A fact I am (usually) proud of.

-I have done many barely mentionable things like making a giant cuddly tea bag, going to the show, being awesome, being not-so-awesome, having a school formal, various birthdays & such...

-I have a new phone number but I don't know what it is... so don't ring/message me.

-I have a car! (No license yet) It's an old, boxy Corolla, metallic/olive green. I have named it Jpeg, on account of it's square nature.

-I submitted all my VTAC/Uni stuff... how exciting.


There endeth the list.

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the blog really, it's just a song I have stuck in my head.

Such love
Such love
Such love is this for me...

This is Jesus
In his glory
King of Heaven
Dying for me
It is finished
He has done it
Death is beaten
Heaven beckons me


Well, I suppose now that the title does relate to the blog.

I've been thinking a lot lately, that I wish Vetamorphus went for two years...
I miss my group and I miss the weekly meetings. I don't have any substitute for those. Not even a church small group because everything's all changing at the moment and the only small group I'm involved in is one I'll be leading.
Which doesn't mean I can't learn and grow still, but it's different...

Beach mission stuff is finally getting started. I'm on the Rosebud/Section 12 team this year which is different, I'm going to miss McCrae like all heck, I've spent nearly half of my summers there.

Sigh. Yawn.

TubeFun

Dear world:
I'm very sorry to have neglected you for so long. I've been busy, see, and also the internet around here has been quite fickle lately.

I'm also sorry that after a long absence, all I'm giving you is YouTube videos, but seriously, they are grouse.

Although they are not relatively new, so you may have seen some, if not all of them before.



Beached Whale

I always offer my chips to people after watching this.



Darth Vader Being a Smartass

First time I saw this, very nearly 'rofl'ed.



Trent From Punchy

Apparently this kid is fo' shizzle.



Keyboard Kid

Priceless. Gets in your head for days.



Yours sincerely,
Emily, VCE. (Apparently when you finish VCE, you can put those letters on the end of your name... I haven't finished yet, but I sometimes like to pretend I'm quasi-professional.)