Goodbive!

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!

I am leaving at 6:30 am tomorrow. Tomorrow being Friday.
I scared, eek!
This is my little goodbye post.
I will be back on the 8th of July. Hooray.
I am feeling very dizzy and I don't like it. Praaaay with me?

But now I must sleep.
Gooood niiiight.
AHHHHH.
Excitement.
I want to cryyyy.
Four times in one week not so good. Ahhh too much stuff ahhhh!


Ok, calm. Sleep. Goodnight. Love. Happy holidays.

-Em

Skrbl

Dash the Assassin

Dash the Assassin is one of my current favourite bands.
Click here and listen, yo.

Easy as 1,2,3...

No One can see that there's no Two
But Two can see there'll be no Three
Unfourtunately for little Three
Three's existence depends on Two
Of which One thinks Two will do
Of which Two knows is not true
The living Three would be joined by Four
Joined by Four against Two's law
After Three Two wouldn't want Four
Four would fuel the age-long war.




I wrote this confusing little thing a while ago.
It doesn't really mean anything, but I'm interested as to what other people interpret it as.

Title

So. I need to post something that isn't me ranting. Here is a poem I wrote last year! It should win all kinds of prizes.


Pick me up in your arms,
Tell me you love me.
Tell me we're safe,
We're safe from the mung beans.




/END

Awesome

StressAnxietyAhhhh!

Exams.

Are next week.

I am stressed.

I have so much to do.



Sigh. My subjects this year are: Foundation maths, Vis Comm, Art, 3/4 Studio Arts, Media, and English. Oh and Veta.
I only have four exams. But I also have to do my Vis Comm project, which is due tomorrow, which I haven't started, and my visual diary is at school. I have my maths project to do, which is due next week, and how sad would it be to fail foundation maths?
Had an English SAC today on Gattaca which was pretty easy because it was creative writing not an analytical piece. Have to finish filming for my media product, and have to edit & post production crap, also have to start on my second medium. Also need to get a grasp of representation. Anyone care to explain representation in different terms than my media teacher does? He makes no sense.
Have to study those art things. Elements and something or other. The stupid man teacher wrecked my painting. I hate still life, people always paint fruit, and bowls, and fruit bowls.

Changed my theme for Studio Arts, was doing winter, am now doing faces/eyes.
I have to do my folio & design brief in a week. My teacher is severely abstract when he explains things. Egad I'm scared. Scared.
I have so much to do, so much to do, so much to do.
Going to dad's for dinner tonight.
Youth tomorrow night.
Shopping for central on Saturday.
Work on Saturday.
Church and leader's meeting on Sunday.
Ahhhhhh crap, I'm so screwed.

Went to Top Designs for an excursion yesterday. Made me feel... inadequate? How the hell can I be as good as that? Everything was so creative, and so good.
Why can't I be as good as that?
Arty things are pretty much all I'm good at in my eyes, and I'm not even that good compared to others.
What do I have, if not that?

Why does school and society put so much pressure on us to excel and exceed? I can't do it. I hate this academic world I live in. You're no good unless you have a good, well payed, respected job.
I know that's not really true, but that's the pressure they put on us.

I can't do it. I can't.









Maybe, just maybe, I can. Prayer would be good.

... More than meets the eye...

Camp, Correction, C-video.

In answer (wow, how big does the font want to be?) to Jono's question about 'Bob' here are two YouTube videos.

CAMP.
Veta retreat no. 2:

I think I liked retreat no. 2 more and less.
More: Because I knew the people and what to expect, and people didn't annoy me as much as on the last one. Also, the Planetshakers people weren't there being all exclusive. Ok that's harsh, but true for the most part.
Less: I was tired and stressed. And surprised at my attitudes at times. Beat myself up for that.

But overall it was good. Talked to people more this time. We went to Youth Alive on the Friday night, which was a good, but deafening experience. The sessions were on personality types, (by Glenda, who else?) a guy called Rowan Lewis came and talked about 'Who am I?' and the Trinity, Greg talked about groups/team management, and did a communion thing, and Digger did some cool stuff on evangelism.
Lots of people complain about sessions. And they can't sit that long. But I love sessions! Yay!
Oh, and Glenda did a thing about depression and dealing with ourselves and other people who have depression, bi-polar, etc...

I got annoyed/angry after that session, because it had obviously bean a very sort of morbid session, someone was crying and we were all feeling rather somber. I remarked to the other girl in my peer group: "I'm feeling a bit depressed after that."
To which she gave me a dirty look, and told me not say something like that because she hates it when people talk about depression like that without knowing what it means.
Which I suppose is fair enough, I dare say she's had her share of crap dealings in life and knows what depression is, but it just annoyed me so much. The way she said it too, it was so condescending, but it made me angry that she thought she knew me enough to think I don't know what depression is, or have never had any experience of it. I know full well what it is and have had plenty experience, probably with more experience to come, in fact I've been wondering since that session whether I have depression or not, wondering that actually made me break down at school yesterday, but anyway.

It usually makes me angry when everyone thinks their life is crap. Well, when they think they're the ONLY person whose life is crap. My life is crap sometimes/a lot of the time, but I know other people's are as well, and I know that the crap times will come and go, for me and everyone else. I just wish people wouldn't be so self-centered about their problems. Or maybe I'm just bitter because I hold all my problems inside instead of complaining/talking about them when I really just want to whine and complain and cry all day long.

Anywho, enough of that.


CORRECTION
In a previous post, I said that my personality according to the Myers-Briggs thing or whatever is INFJ. Which is false, it is actually INFP, and according to Glenda, I am "The least J person she knows." (J people are usually organized an the like.)
You can go here and read, if you can be bothered, about INFP.

Then if you had even more bothering up your sleeve, you could even do the test and tell me what you are!

NEWS
Josh just told me that he rolled Aunty Anne on the phone! High five? Yeah, we don't like her much. We're not just hating on her, there are valid reasons for our extreme dislike for this person who is (unfortunately) related to us.

~FIN~

Bob - Weird Al Yankovic

I, man, am regal -- a German am I
Never odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?

Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam?

Ah Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No "x" in "Nixon"
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
"Naomi", I moan
"A Toyota's a Toyota"
A dog, a panic in a pagoda

Oh, no! Don Ho!
Nurse, I spy gypsies -- run!
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

Dear Chibi...

What's that dear Chibi?

You think I'm a nerd?
Excuse me, but when was the last time I erred?
Ok 'twas I blew up the children's playground,
But I built a new one,
One that is much more fun.

Yes, and the time I infected the city with a cold;
It didn't last long,
And a blocked up nose was all that was wrong.
Don't judge me dear Chibi,
For you are but a monkey, and none perfect yourself,
What about the time you broke my good shelf?

An inventor am I,
The best there is.
All my machines whir and whiz.
I admit that I'm lonely, for I've no wife or kids,
My only friend a monkey,
Chibi, he's dimmer that squids.

I have big glasses.
Often askew, broken three times,
With lots of little cracks and lines.
My hair sticks up,
My fingernails are yellow,
But you, Dear Chibi, are worse: You're shallow.

Wiegh up my successes and failures:
I cured cancer,
Stopped pollution,
Started a healthy revolution.
Yet no one seems to know my face,
As if it were I who came last in a race.

Tell me, Dear Chibi,
How many nobel prizes have you won?
I have one six,
With another one to come.
They sit on a shelf in my head,
Along with your voice, though the nurse says you're dead.

As I look at these padded walls,
I'm fed by the nurse,
This darn white jacket,
My golly! It's a curse!
Dear Chibi, Dear Chibi,
My imaginary monkey...

Poem from year 9 poetry folio.

Soundtrack

I'm slowly building up a list of songs. "Songs of my life," I like to call them :D Songs that in some way or other just fit with my life in general, or how it was at a certain time. I will add more later, and possibly elaborate on some as to why they are 'songs of my life' but I won't do that now. All I will say now is that none of the songs are about loving/having a crush on another person. They lyrics may seem that way, but thats not the way I've interpreted/twisted them. Oh, and Lewis Crystal, is actually Crystal Lewis.














I'll also say, don't you like the 'rainbow order'? Only four colours, but, meh.


Here's more! Wow, but that lyrics site with the scroll-y boxes didn't want them to work. Edited so there's not a million choruses.

Golden - Switchfoot
She's alone tonight,
With a bitter cup and,
She's undone tonight,
She's all used up,

She's been staring down the demons,
Who've been screaming she's just another so and so,
Another so and so

There's a fear that burns,
Like trash inside
And you're ashamed of the curse,
That burns your eyes

You've been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn't not how the story has to go
It's not the way it goes, It's your book now,
You're,

Golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
Don't let go,
Don't let go tonight

You're a lonely soul,
Inlet of broken hearts
You're far from home,
It's a perfect place to start

So this final verse,
Is a contradiction
And the more we learn,
The less we know

We've been talkin' about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn't find the words
I couldn't write this verse,
I've seldom been so sure,
About anything before

This world is a dead man down
Every breath is a singing crown away,
Like some debilitated king,
Don't let go tonight

Earth Spins and your mind goes round
Green comes on the frozen ground,
And everything will be made new again,
Like freedom and spring,
Hey, like freedom and spring
Like freedom and spring


Delta Goodrem - The Analyst
(Shutup, I'm allowed to have had a Delta Goodrem phase, all right? This dumb spoon is a dumb, dumb spoon.)
Prepare yourself to meet a girl who can not sleep
Dividing every question 'til the questions are complete
Every twisted tongue she studies everyone
She won't leave any stone unturned the night is oh so young

She's traveling back in time
Questioning every line that someone said
She's trying to understand

Free her mind she's always the analyst
Silent space the culprit the catalyst
Trying to make sense of her life
Digging around in the dirt she's a slave to the work
She's always the analyst

Can you be sure we haven't met see the eyes they don't forget
They wander through the passage-ways that tease a restless mind
Can't afford to slip the picture's gotta fit
Her world's a photograph that gets dissected bit by bit

Re-living the mistake she's made not a moment for the curious girl

Free her mind she's always the analyst
Silent space the culprit the catalyst
Trying to make sense of this life
Digging around breaking it down
Neurotic thoughts
Burning the ground
Every sight every sound
She's always the analyst

Grrrrekwbhgkehlgnsdyflgnkztscefyzu!#$%@

Everyone is getting on my nerves today and I'm angry. I wish people would get over themselves.

fhuih hk vgekiqu,LV3to8lyh.jrez.6gjn.

Benefit of the doubt

Something strange happened to me tonight...

I went to work, was bored at work, this is all the same as usual. It was after work that it happened. I was about to get into the car, when I heard a small 'excuse me' behind me. I was sitting in the car and turned around and there was a lady there looking quite distraught. I didn't really know what she was talking about, because she was rambling, almost in tears, but she asked me if I knew anyone around who went to a church because she need to get to Albury by 11:30pm and she had not petrol or money, and maybe the church or someone from there would give her some and she could pay then back.. She went on to say something about her spleen or something, and told me to forgive her because she had bumps on her head because her husband used to hit her. She rambled on about how her husband was not going to take their kids anymore and she had to get to Albury before they were split up, and she said she used to go to church, but her husband wouldn't let her, she said she still prayed all the time, and she wanted to go back to church, but as a family with her and her kids. She rambled on a lot, I can't remember exactly what she said. My dad asked her how much money she needed, she said she'd need enough for petrol to get to Albuy.

My dad got out of the car and went to the atm and I stayed with the lady, I was a little freaked out because she was so distraught and on the verge of tears. She apologized for asking for money and said that it wasn't something she'd wanted to do. I asked her if it would help if I prayed for her, she said yes, so I asked her name and asked if I could lay hands on her, then I prayed for God to comfort her and help her and stuff, then Dad came back and handed her some money. I'm not sure how much, it was at least $50, but there could've been more than one note. This is no small feat for my Dad, as no one in my family has a lot of money. We said goodbye to the lady, dad told her she didn't have to return the money, "I don't know where you live, you don't know where I live," she thanked us and was even closer to tears.


Then we drove away.

I really hope this wasn't a scam. If it was, I'd feel down right cheated and angry, but I think, in these sort of situations, it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean fork out cash to every stranger that asks for it, but don't just take on the idea that they're lying, they may well be not.

I don't know if it was a scam, it was either real, or very well thought out and played. Maybe she was waiting, an saw my Dad's Mercedes Benz and thought he was rich and would more easily fork out money. Quite the opposite, my dad is anything but rich, the car cost his $200 and is in constant disrepair.

But maybe it wasn't a scam. Maybe it was timed just perfectly. If Dad hadn't parked instead of just picking me up where I stood, if I hadn't been working tonight, if those ladies hadn't been in the way and slowed me down, if my dad wasn't already planning to take out cash... there's a lot of variables in there, but I suppose they could work out to be unlucky variables.

Scam or not, doubt I'll ever know, but it's left me with a strange feeling, and nothing feels quite real at the moment.