24 May, 2007



Are next week.

I am stressed.

I have so much to do.

Sigh. My subjects this year are: Foundation maths, Vis Comm, Art, 3/4 Studio Arts, Media, and English. Oh and Veta.
I only have four exams. But I also have to do my Vis Comm project, which is due tomorrow, which I haven't started, and my visual diary is at school. I have my maths project to do, which is due next week, and how sad would it be to fail foundation maths?
Had an English SAC today on Gattaca which was pretty easy because it was creative writing not an analytical piece. Have to finish filming for my media product, and have to edit & post production crap, also have to start on my second medium. Also need to get a grasp of representation. Anyone care to explain representation in different terms than my media teacher does? He makes no sense.
Have to study those art things. Elements and something or other. The stupid man teacher wrecked my painting. I hate still life, people always paint fruit, and bowls, and fruit bowls.

Changed my theme for Studio Arts, was doing winter, am now doing faces/eyes.
I have to do my folio & design brief in a week. My teacher is severely abstract when he explains things. Egad I'm scared. Scared.
I have so much to do, so much to do, so much to do.
Going to dad's for dinner tonight.
Youth tomorrow night.
Shopping for central on Saturday.
Work on Saturday.
Church and leader's meeting on Sunday.
Ahhhhhh crap, I'm so screwed.

Went to Top Designs for an excursion yesterday. Made me feel... inadequate? How the hell can I be as good as that? Everything was so creative, and so good.
Why can't I be as good as that?
Arty things are pretty much all I'm good at in my eyes, and I'm not even that good compared to others.
What do I have, if not that?

Why does school and society put so much pressure on us to excel and exceed? I can't do it. I hate this academic world I live in. You're no good unless you have a good, well payed, respected job.
I know that's not really true, but that's the pressure they put on us.

I can't do it. I can't.

Maybe, just maybe, I can. Prayer would be good.


B.C. said...

You can. I'm praying. Like Forrest Gump, or his ice cream shop equivalent, once said to me...

Get your degree, or if you don't do that, find something you love and do that. As long as you are happy. And I wish you a good, safe, happy life.

Captain Best said...

Wow, you've got heaps of stuff on your plate at the moment. I know exactly what that feels like, and am going through a very simliar experience at the moment.
Take it one day at a time, and possibly think further ahead than that when it is needed, and eventually, it will be over.
But don't count on it. I find the best thing to do in these times is to enjoy the time that you are spending doing all the stressful stuff. You might as well, instead of wishing you could just skip over it all until it was all gone.
I pray it will stop being as bad as it may initially seem.