19 March, 2007


So, I have asthma, and have had it for as long as I remember.
I don’t really get it that bad, I used to when I was younger, but I don’t get it as much now.

The church I’ve been brought up in for most of my life is into healing, and so am I.
I’ve been prayed for so many times during my life, by so many different people, in so many different places, for my asthma. I still have asthma.

Why? Is pretty much the question I’m asking here. Some people might say it’s because I have no faith, or the person praying for me has no faith, but what do they know? I have faith for healing, as do the numerous people who’ve prayed for me, and plenty of people who have no faith at all that God will heal them have been healed.

Others would say that God does not want to heal me, but it says in the bible that we have authority over sickness and such, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven” The kingdom of Heaven-besides being a movie I haven’t seen-is a place where there is no sickness. Your kingdom come… on Earth as it is in Heaven.
My church talks a lot about this sort of verse, and taking authority over sickness.

So, if I have faith, authority, and God’s will, then why aren’t I healed? And why don’t other people get healed sometimes?
Back to the topic of having faith, while I do have faith in miracles, I’m a bit cynical from time to time. I hear stories about miraculous healings, but I find it a bit hard to believe, I mean, how do I know it wasn’t staged? How do I know it’s true? I never knew the sick person. I also have a had time trusting pastors. I know it’s a good thing to sort of challenge them, and not believe every word someone says to you, just because they have a credible position, but I question and challenge everything it seems. My un-trusting-ness, or whatever real word I’m looking for there, is a bit unhealthy.

One thing these pastors and preachers who I have a hard time trusting say to not focus on what God hasn’t done in your life, but focus on what he has done. I’ll try and do that.

I had a thought that maybe God is healing my asthma. In the process of. Because when I get prayed for, sometimes, my asthma goes away for a while. Days, weeks, months. But it eventually comes back. Why? I don’t know. All I know is, I’m confused, and this blog hasn’t helped to sort out my thoughts and make me less confused.


Captain Best said...

Awesome what you're thinking about and writing about. I wish I had something deep and theological to mention here, but I don't. Hmm. Bad.

Em said...

That's ok, I'll just pretend you mentioned something deep and theological.

"Wow, Jono, that was really deep and theological."


B.C. said...

My skin. Your Asthma. Unnecessary things that God has given us. Perhaps just to prove life goes on even under hardship. Perhaps just because it shows us that whatever we have, many others have far worse. Perhaps we should be glad that we only have this stuff, even though it is hard.

I, too, wanted to write wisdom. This is a half-hearted effort at it.

Em said...

I'd say it's the wise half of the heart then.
I hadn't really thought about it from that angle, and it's a good angle at that.
Also maybe we have these things to experience hadships so that we can understand others who go through them. You know what it's like to have eczema, I don't. You could empathise with someone else who has it, but I can't.