26 February, 2007

Friendly Friends.

I like having friends, I've discovered.
I've always sort of had friends, I guess, but only recently have I had any real friends.
I've usually been one of the favourites in my friendship groups, I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging or anything, that's just the way it normally is/was. But even though I was the 'favourite', my friends never really cared about me, and loved me. I mean, they'd say they did, but I never really felt it.

Just recently, as in late last year/early this year, have I had any friends who are of great value to me, and treat me like I'm of great value to them. I've always wanted friends like this. Always. And I always wondered why I didn't have fantastic friends, why my friends didn't mean everything to me like they meant everything to other people.
I still don't know the answer to that question.

Having friends who love you is pretty much one of the best things in the world.

The other day, for example, was a time when I felt loved; I'd missed youth on Friday because of Veta camp, and on Sunday night at church, more people than I'd expected commented on how they'd missed me on Friday, and how it was weird that I wasn't there. I know they were just words, but they were said with meaning, and they meant a lot to me.
"Wow, people actually missed me!" I've never had that feeling before.

I've always been really shy, and quiet. I think I assumed that my presence just always goes unnoticed... apparently not so.

One of the strange things is as well, that I don't know if I'd consider myself to be close friends with a lot of these people. That might just be me beating myself up and saying that 'they don't really like you that much', but I don't know them a whole lot... and still, some of the friends and acquaintances I've made recently are the best friends I've ever had.


emmalee said...

i agree. people ive only met just recently, in a tiny amount of time have become some of the best friends imaginable.
it amazes me that this can happen.
and that i can feel love and trust in people in such a short amount of time.
its a rare and beautiful thing to find friends who truly care about you :)
your blogs are cool.
i read all of them.
stay cooollll..
like ur name btw..ha