Still getting there...

I don't know how to do this.

I want to. I want to be there, I want to support you, I want to help you get better.

But I don't think I can. Things can never, never be as they were, and every time I think about that, it kills me a little more.

I don't want to fall back into that pattern, but it's likely that I will. I know that I will.

God help me. God, help me.