My Year Without: Alcohol

So, late October last year, I made the decision to go an entire year without even so much as a sip of alcohol. Only a couple months to go and I'm already donning my 'hindsight self-reflection' goggles (but hey, at least they aren't 'drunk goggles')

Why did I make this decision? A few reasons:

1. My Christian faith
This is not the sole reason, but seeing as how my beliefs make up so much of who I am, it had to come into play. I don't disagree with alcohol, I have no problem drinking, or with other people drinking regardless of religion. It's a massive grey area, but in terms of what is 'right' and 'wrong' generally drinking is fine, getting drunk is not. I have been drunk before, and see why drunkenness can be bad. Probably some of the most funny times in my life, but things could potentially go downhill very quickly in that state of mind, though they never have for me.

2. Leadership role at my church.
I am a youth leader at my church, and this is more-so what prompted the decision. If I wasn't a leader, I think my liver and I would not be such great friends. This time last year it was a big thing in the culture of our young adults and youth leaders to go out drinking, and it was fun, but I didn't quite agree with the amount of it, the fact that we were supposed to be role models, the dramas it created, and the status of 'cool' placed upon it. So starting My Year Without was, in a way, a counter-culture stand, and a way to pull back from that atmosphere. I couldn't reconcile drinking too much every other weekend with trying to teach kids and teenagers about what it means to follow Jesus.

3. Depression and dependence.
While I've never really come right out and said it to everyone, I've had depression for all/most of my teenage life, undiagnosed and untreated. I've heard teachers and doctors talk about alcohol as a 'depressant' and as a substance that will exaggerate your mood. Depressed people do stupid things while they're drunk (and sober) and I obviously don't want to aggravate that.

I didn't drink before I turned 18, and I didn't drink all that much afterwards. But I noticed a trend that at social gatherings, I didn't feel comfortable unless I was a little tipsy. I needed the alcohol to calm my 'socially awkward nerves' and to gain confidence. I was starting to rely on it to be happy, have fun, and connect with people. That was a path I did not like.

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It hasn't been too difficult, on the whole. When it's come up in conversation and I tell people a lot of them are gob-smacked: "What!? How do you do that!?" There have been times when I've wanted a drink, been at weddings and vineyards and not been able to take advantage of all the freebies, but considering I didn't drink very regularly, it's hardly been a sacrifice.

Things have certainly changed though, in the past year. Like things do every year, but I think some is directly related to My Year Without.

1. My friends have changed.
As they always will, but the difference is in the circles of people I hang around with, and what we do when we hang out. I'm still great friends with the people I was before, and I've met new people too, but now the focus has changed from hanging out to get drunk to just hanging out. I've found a new appreciation and love for my friends because I rely on their company for the fun times, not just a temporary stimulant.

2. My confidence has soared.
Whether it's just been the awkward teen stages, the girly hormones, or the depression, I've always lacked confidence and self-esteem, been withdrawn and shy in a lot of social situations. That is why the alcohol helped so much. But having to live without it, and stand on my own two feet has taught me a lot. I still have many awkward moments, of course, but I can laugh at myself, I've learnt and am still learning how not to be the recluse, the wallflower, I've learnt to see myself in a new light and how to function socially, sober. Good, yes.


I'm thinking about going without something next year as well, just for the shiggles. You'll have to help me think of something, oh deserted blogworld.
A couple months to go... I won't know what to do when it ends! Celebratory drinks, perhaps? Or does that defeat the purpose? Expect another update come late October!

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Also, thanks to Judy and Vicki who have helped and supported me with my decision.

A Few of my Favourite Things 1

And by 'A Few' I mean 'a list of ten'. Here are some of my favourite things! Paying homage to The Sound of Music, of course, though none of the 'things' from that particular song have made it into this list.

1. Museli* Bars
An indulgence of mine. I just love museli bars. I hated them in primary school, because the other kids had chips and LCM's, and I would look down at my bland, hard-to-chew snack of sticky grains and scarce scatters of dried fruit, and resent the long rectangle that fit so easily in my hand, but not in my heart. But these days, my heart has an oblong dent that only a museli bar can fit in snugly, and these days (like today) I sometimes go through a packet a day at work. Of 12, not 6.
My top flavours though, would have to be:
-Yoghurt Topped: Strawberry, Apricot
-Choc-coated honeycomb.


-Raspberry is good like strawberry. I like red fruit.

*I spell muesli 'museli' because of the way my American cousin pronounces it. It has become a predisposition I can not rid myself of.


2. Notebooks
Oh, man. Pretty notebooks.

I like to collect them and then just stare at the cover, wondering what I will fill them with.
I rarely fill them, though, because I'm too afraid to ruin the prettiness with my atrocious handwriting.
The notebooks I do fill, are generally Spirax A5 notebooks. Handy and not-ugly. And many colours for various things, but not pretty or expensive enough to be concerned about ruining.
I have just now said the following to someone on MSN, to whom I had previously sent the above link by accident:

εmilγ- says:
http://www.lasoo.com.au/offer/office-supplies/spirax-a5-hard-covered-notebook-red/4fxctumc6.html?source=brand&startNo=16&pageopt=spirax
εmilγ- says:
ok srsly
εmilγ- says:
disregard that

3. Music. Duh.
I don't think anyone could not have music as a 'favourite thing', though I have heard that such people exist. I don't have a particular favourite genre, but I do like a bit of indie-folk-rock-pop-electronic-acoustic-ambient-souuul music. To be exact.
One of my all-time favourites is one Mr. Sufjan Stevens:

-Isn't he dreamy?

Lyrically and musically amazing.

Look forward to more favourites!

Such Love...

I don't really have anything to blog about... I just felt like blogging.
It's been ages since I've written anything blog-worthy...

A lot has happened since my last 'real' blog post, here are some of those happenings in list-form:


-I live with my sister Holly now! It's exciting and challenging and different. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it.
It's good because I am learning and growing, bad because it's inconvenient travel-wise and because it's hard to break old lifestyle habits.

-I turned sweet (and sour?) 18! A fact I am (usually) proud of.

-I have done many barely mentionable things like making a giant cuddly tea bag, going to the show, being awesome, being not-so-awesome, having a school formal, various birthdays & such...

-I have a new phone number but I don't know what it is... so don't ring/message me.

-I have a car! (No license yet) It's an old, boxy Corolla, metallic/olive green. I have named it Jpeg, on account of it's square nature.

-I submitted all my VTAC/Uni stuff... how exciting.


There endeth the list.

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the blog really, it's just a song I have stuck in my head.

Such love
Such love
Such love is this for me...

This is Jesus
In his glory
King of Heaven
Dying for me
It is finished
He has done it
Death is beaten
Heaven beckons me


Well, I suppose now that the title does relate to the blog.

I've been thinking a lot lately, that I wish Vetamorphus went for two years...
I miss my group and I miss the weekly meetings. I don't have any substitute for those. Not even a church small group because everything's all changing at the moment and the only small group I'm involved in is one I'll be leading.
Which doesn't mean I can't learn and grow still, but it's different...

Beach mission stuff is finally getting started. I'm on the Rosebud/Section 12 team this year which is different, I'm going to miss McCrae like all heck, I've spent nearly half of my summers there.

Sigh. Yawn.

Blogland.

On orders from Benchong Town, I am writing a blog.
But the thing is, see the thing is, the thing is, see the thing is I don't know what to blog about.
(A cookie for anyone who just got the Lano & Woodley reference.)

So I will just talk about myself for a while. Actually, here is a list of stuff:
1. I started writing a book the other day. Awesome.
2. I have too much homework and I am slack. I'm probably going to fail 3/4 studio arts but that's my teacher's fault; he's never there, and when he is he never ceases talking about totem poles.
3. Crispy Potato flavoured 'In a Biscuit' biscuits taste nice if you think of roast potato, but feral when you think of raw potato.
4. Grace asked me to design the t-shirts for mission, and I'm scared they'll be crap. Any preferences for colour out there?
5. I am very sleepy.
6. My friend came home from India for a month! We're going to have ice cream before she goes back again.
7. I don't want to finish my list on such an un-rounded number.
8. The Milo is all gone.
9. I have to work tonight and I don't want to.
10. I suck at blob this round.