17 January, 2009

Forgiven.

I think that I'm very nearly ready to let go, ready to forgive. There's no way I can forget, it's who I am now, it's my life. But I can forgive. You no longer owe me. I accept the fact that though I long to hate you, I can't. I accept that you weren't all bad; you couldn't have been, no one is. I accept the fact that you were a person who loved other people, and I accept that other people loved you. And I accept the fact that your one downfall, your weakness and failure has ruined my life in so many ways, but made so many other parts of it stronger. I accept these things, and I no longer harbour the bitterness and resentment. I no longer wish bad things upon you. What you did was wrong, and you know that, but there is no productivity in hating you from afar.

So. With all this said. I forgive you.

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I wrote this a long time ago now. I will most likely never explain it. Not here at least.

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