28 March, 2008

Life is hard.

Dare I say it again?
Life is hard.

20 March, 2008

This week in the milky way...

Catch up with your favourite interplanetary characters, Daaa-vid and Em! Featuring Ben Chong!

This week we look into electorate issues, the tourism industry, strange flues and their cures, and Tasmania...



(white noise)

(found signal)

BEGIN TRANSMISSION


David says:

scooby?

Emily - says:

dooby doo?

David says:

where are you?

Emily - says:

jupiter, naturally.

David says:

oh, i was there this afternoon. the weather was much better there

Emily - says:

yeah it's nice this time of year

David says:

and the food is so cheep cause the jupiterites don't eat it

Emily - says:

and that big spot thing is a great tourist attraction, it's amazing to see close up.

David says:

true, but it's got all commercial now. to see true jupiterite culture you have to go to the other side and hire a bike

Emily - says:

true that. me and my travelling buddy were going to try that out last time we went to jupiter, but she came down with a bad case of that horrible jupiter flu thing, forget what it's called, nasty though.

David says:

yeah nasty that. my friend once had it for a week. got so delerous he thought he was a tonka truck

Emily - says:

oooh, that must have been hard to handle.

David says:

yeah, he kept making us push him around the sand pit making engine noises.

Emily - says:

ha, bet you got a lot of strange looks. how'd you cure it? the usual? or was it one of those new fancy trial things?

David says:

just the usual, we ran his head under cold water while the temptations played and the reinacted his favourate moment from disneys snow white

Emily - says:

ahhh yeah. snow white eh? that's an unusual one, that. usually it's sleeping beauty or cinderella. i've heard the rarest one is beauty and the beast. snow white is still pretty rare though. apparently the snow white ones lose thier eyelashes after treatment. did your friend lose his? they're ment to be valuable.

David says:

no, he did have eyelashes to begin with. that is why we chose snow white. they loose their eyelashes, but it's fastest

Emily - says:

i see..

David says:

how did you cure your friend? or did it not get past the scaring it out of them stage?

Emily - says:

you know I didn't really end up finding out. thruth is we had a bad argument just before she got sick. she was so sick they had to send her to one of the moons for treatment. it was one of those new trial things so i think she got paid for it. she mentioned something about it not hurting and something about bathing in liquid carbon dioxide. but i haven't, er, really spoken to her for long since.

David says:

was that the trial that got shut down cause, will curing the patients, after a week they all turned into cumquats?

Emily - says:

nah, that was the one with the anti matter. i think that was the moon on the other side. very eccentric scientists and doctors over that part.

David says:

well you can't help but be a little eccentric when you have two head and are constantly break dancing. Did they ever figure out how to fix the gravity on the side?

Emily - says:

haha, no. they just sort of tried to cover it up. didn't do a bad job either. turned it into some sort of amusement park type thing. it fuels half their funding.

David says:

i'd think so, you can get some mad head spins when you have two

Emily - says:

yeah, bet the tasmanians would have the time of their lives! if they could afford a trip to jupiter... or anywhere for that matter... unfortunate really, poor things.

David says:

(much laughter!) yeah, they tried to get an appeal going for that, but it never got off the ground. i don't think they should have used an exercution as the main attraction

Emily - says:

indeed. they really don't get it do they? I do feel kinda sorry for them though, I mean, it's not ALL their fault. the interplanetary goals and needs assosciation and fund really screwed them over

David says:

i know, when we all got a big bag with a dollar sign on it. they got a potato chip.

Emily - says:

poor little fellas... oh well, not like we can do much. ben chong's had a hard enough time just getting 'tassie aid' off the ground. there's a lot of red tape to get though. Africa was easy compared to this. how about that though? who would have thought that the very first interplanetary minister/adjudicator/whatever they're called would have been from earth! and african at that, and ben chong personally sponsered him when he was a child! I mean, talk about climbing the ranks!

David says:

and you know he feels for the tasmanians. just think of the quote after he visited hobart, "i know my mother was eaten my a hippo when i was 6, and my brother tryed to kill me for food till i was 15, but you tasmanians have it truly hard"

Emily - says:

that went down in history, that quote! famous.

David says:

i think it may have been that quote that won him the election

Emily - says:

yeah. good bloke, really. i'm glad that slimy looking guy from pluto didn't win. didn't like the looks of him, he was all shifty and suspicious.

David says:

and i didn't believe for a second that those photos of him kicking puppies with interglatic mob bosses were doctored. he just got busted!

Emily - says:

pretty much. i know a photoshopped image when i see one, and THAT was real. VERY real. you know, they tried to pay me out to keep it hush hush when I was called in to study the image. i think that pretty much proves it, speaks for itself. haha, should've taken the pay out though and said it was a fake. they offered a LOT of money. and meteor points as well, being the avid fan that i am. but oh well, i couldn't really. lie to the whole galaxy? i just couldn't.

David says:

you could have taken the money, then refuse to release a statement. then put the money towards tassie aid

Emily - says:

yeah i suppose, but if i refused to tell the public that the photo was faked then i'd pretty much be on bad terms with all of pluto. which i suppose doesn't seem that bad, but they're pretty vicious, plutonians. i think they're bitter about the whole not-being-a-planet-anymore thing. pretty proud creatures they were.

David says:

yeah, they sure took that hard. they didn't talk to anyone for a month. (that's a pluto month, which is like 5 years). Then they introduced the plutonian club card making it well imbarassing to visit pluto with out one. the plutonains in tourism did not like that (not that the plutonian tourst trade was that big).

definatly not a race you want ticked off at you.

Emily - says:

yeah. i told the minister to keep the photo of the dog kicking as quiet as possible. the plutionians already knew i was inspecting it and I didn't want them all angry if it was made really public. glad he kept it quiet in the end. good man. didn't defame his opponent just to win an election. he had it in the bag though really. OH gotta go! out.

David says:

Em, you are much fun! we must do this more

Emily - says:

ahh, indeed, i think it is a best way of conversing.

Emily - says:

over and out!

David says:

over and out!


END TRANSMISSION
(lost signal)
(white noise)

Tune in next time to see what wacky adventures our funny little bloggers get up to!


P.S. Best conversation ever? Or did you really have to be there?

P.P.S. I'll blog about Tasmania for REAL soon, too much procrastination has been going on, but now it's holidays.

P.P.P.S. Happy Easter and stuff, kiddies!

P.P.P.P.S. Hey Jesus, thanks for dying for us and everything... I mean, it sounds like I'm joking right now, but I'm not... I could write something that sounds more meaningful, but I don't think mere English words, as powerful as they can be, could ever repay what did for all of us. Ta, buddy.